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Wednesday, December 25, 2013

London Chronicles - My first trip abroad


Don’t be misled by the title – this is in no way a recollection of my trip to Amsterdam which was my maiden international trip. This is when I travelled to Basel for a half day meeting from London – my first travel in my new role from my new “homeland”. The mere frustration and anger that I felt at the end of that trip is adequate for me go on and on about how messed up and manipulative the travel system here is. So I will rant and you will read…..

The biggest bane for any company which purports to be international is it's travel desk. I have come to a conclusion that the more money a company loses on account of it's travel desk the larger they are and the dumber they are. Rates offered by most listed hotels are lesser in many cases when checked directly than when approached via your travel desk. When you ask for quotes, for some reason the travel desk choses to give the most expensive options available. After you have done your research on the internet and have provided them with cheaper fares, they will repackage it and send it back to you as original work. Then there is the whole approval system. The whole option will have to jump through myriad loops of bureaucratic rigmarole. By the time you get the approvals from your bosses who are conveniently located in 3 different timezones, the prices obviously have gone up and then starts the process again. So in effect, an average employee who travels 40%-50% of his / her time on account of work, spends almost the same amount of time arranging the logistics and then claiming expenses (that is a topic for another fun blog).

So, here I was prepared to go to Basel. The visa was in, my presentations to the client were ready – all that was left is get to Basel. The first quote that my travel desk sends me was 350 GBP for London Basel return sector.. you add another 100-150 GBP and you can go to India and back. I am shocked and get cracking on cheapflights.co.uk which tells me that there are tickets on low cost carriers available from GBP 137!! Less than half the price on a normal carrier. I send it to the travel desk with a screenshot of the option and they still come up with a fare higher than what is shown on the net – they come up with GBP 167 which given their competency level I gladly accept. Then comes the approval process which is not too tedious as I have only one approver and he trusts my judgment to a great extent. Somehow between the few hours that it took for the approval to come in, the fares have gone up to GBP 215. I, having worked in the same company for 6 years now and having dealt with at least 3 logistics service providers, had taken an approval for the GBP 350 quote and so was saved from the process of getting new approvals for the fresh fares. So my tickets are issued. No one in the travel desk bothers to inform me of the baggage charges with this excellent orange logoed airline. So I land at the airport with minimal luggage – at least minimal as per me. I have a laptop bag (which does contain only my laptop and it's charger), a small handbag, with some cosmetics, wallet etc and a small carry on suitcase with a change of clothes for my overnight stay. The lady at the counter informs me that I have 3 pieces of luggage and I need to combine all this into one. Now, how much ever I try my Mumbai elasticity on my luggage – it is quite impossible to fit 3 pieces of luggage into a small carry on strolley. I manage to combine my handbag and laptop bag and am forced to check in my overnighter. Then the lady informs me of the charges – GBP 30 for that luggage – I paid GBP 30 to buy that damn piece of luggage and here I am paying that same amount to get one suit and one pair of night clothes across the channel on a 2 hour flight. Didn’t have a choice, so coughed up the extortion money.

For the return journey, I was well prepared because of my educational onward experience. I somehow managed to squeeze everything I had into that small overnighter. Careful planning and my sizeable mass were quite helpful in this endeavor. The check in counter again. The lady asks for my hand luggage and I effortlessly pick up the 6-7 kg suitcase and show her. She lets me in. Redemption at last – or so I thought. Waiting in line to board, another loyal employee of this wonderful airline comes and tells me to fit my suitcase into the onboard luggage “sizer” available near the boarding gate. I always thought those things were for show or to be used to dump empty water bottles etc. Anyway, my suitcase fits into that space just as well as I fit into a medium sized t-shirt – there but not quite there – with the not quite there being the larger bit. So the lady then makes me pay 55 Euros. Not sure how 30 GBP translates to 55 Euros or maybe there is another unwritten rule of how the luggage charges goes up between the checkin counter and boarding gate by nearly 15 GBP. Having no choice, I pay that as well. By this time I am at the end of my politeness – I am as rude to that wonderful woman as I am to a Bangalore auto driver who charges me heaven and earth for a 2 km distance.

Now you might say that alls well that ends well – I can claim these as business expenses but that is not the point. The point is the extent to which airlines will go to make money. Next, I’m sure they will have something about sitting in a flight – standing passengers will get standard fare, sitting with one bum cheek will cost GBP 30 and sitting on your ass fully will cost you GBP 50…. I am sure that the lady who runs this wonderful institution may be scanning social media for tips of how to increase her revenue and if she considers this lucrative idea of mine, I would appreciate it if she just paid back my GBP 100 which her company made me pay.

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Mumbai product - went around the world - got hitched and escaped from the Silicon city of India to the land of glamour and royalty - London. I write every time my heart stirs......