New Year Resolutions 2007

At the beginning of every year or lets say at the end of every year I face the same dilemma. I look back and look forward and see that nothing went as planned. That need not mean that things didn’t work out well. They normally do pleasantly surprise me, but they just don’t go as I planned them or lets be more realistic , as I wanted them, for planning has never been my forte.

I revisited my new year resolution list of last year. The first thought that hit me was the way my life has changed over the past year. I remember as if it was yesterday that I was sitting in my dark yet cosy basement room in Coimbatore and writing down the resolutions. I was quite serious then. I had no clue that in an years time I will be in a foreign land 8000 miles away from home and without any idea where my life is headed. I feel like one of those floating logs on their way downstream. They have a direction, but not one decided or chosen by them but one that that the river decides to take. They just go along with it. It seems to me that life is taking me in a direction and I’m just floating along – adrift.

Today I heard from a colleague a strange new year resolution – “I want to start smoking!” That’s strange. I have heard people wanting to quit smoking, wanting to lose weight – but someone wanting to start smoking – that’s almost unheard of. But her logic behind it was quite simple – new year resolutions are meant to be broken – so once she resolves that she will start smoking that’s the best way to ensure that she actually doesn’t. That’s the best example of reverse self psychology.

But that’s not my take on things. I think a new year marks a new beginning. Though prior experience teaches us otherwise, sometimes making resolutions help – especially if you set boundaries for yourself. Now if I wanted to look like Ash on 31st of Dec – it maybe stretching my fantasies too far.. but if I wanted to get under 60 kgs which I have not been for the past decade – that may just be achievable.

I see that most of my last years resolutions have worked out except for the obviously impossible one. No, I had not planned to look like Ash – this is even tougher – I had resolved to try and talk less. I think even with such an uphill task I have not been a total failure. I have been in circumstances where my vocal capabilities have not been stretched too much. So, albeit forced by circumstances, I have achieved most of my resolutions.

So here goes the new list:

§ Try to talk less (I am retaining this with the hope that I may actually voluntarily be able to do this)

§ Start reading my FRM book – seriously!

§ Read more and write more.

§ Maintain some discipline in life – I have been forced into it now because of circumstances and have been losing it as I have got used to the new circumstances and have bent my life around the circumstances. Not any more…

I think that is enough for a year! Will see this list again on 31st in 367 days……..