London Chronicles – First Christmas in London

My first Christmas in London and I decide to spend it outside. 7 years back I was in Amsterdam and had crossed the channel to spend Christmas in London. It was my first trip to London and I still have fond memories. So in tribute to that cross channel Christmas tradition, I decided to spend this Christmas in Amsterdam. Now when you mention Amsterdam to anyone, you can guess what is going through their minds… weed, gays, babes and canals. For me it was none of this. It was two families. Two families which had taken me under their wings all those years back, fed me, cared for me, put a roof over my head when I wanted. For me it was like going back to home. So it was with great excitement that I decided to spend the whole Christmas week here. I shopped for Christmas gifts, did a decent job in wrapping them up and finally packed my bags and landed in Amsterdam.

Everything felt like de ja vu. The names of the shops, the language, the layout of the airport, the bus stand, the final destination, the walk up to the house, the two steps to the entrance, the door, the matriarch who opened the door, the warmth of the hug, the love in the smile, the “at home” feeling when I entered the house. Nothing had changed.

Then the kids came – only they were no longer kids, they were adults, they had their own personalities, their own views, styles. Made me feel older. Then there were new faces. A lot of the people I knew had moved on – as had I. They were no longer in Netherlands. They had been replaced by a larger number of new faces. I met a whole lot of them in the first three days of being here. Many of them had been here for 4-5 years. Their position as a part of the "gang" was far stronger than mine. Who was I –  someone who was here for a few months many years back. Everything had changed.

Then came some of the things that I remember as being things and events that I clearly didn’t like – the incessant partying, the attempts to make conversation with people you don’t want to spend time with, the lack of private time – upon reflection – the last one is an oxymoron of sorts. I am not part of the families but I expect to get private time with them which in retrospect would include excluding me. I’m sure everyone who lives here and is a part of the families lives, expects the same consideration – everyone expects to be equally special, to be invited to that special family dinner, that special family occasion… not sure why that expectation when you know you are an outsider, but the families have indeed been different to me. I have to admit, I do feel quite happy when they introduce me as their eldest kid or offer me the freedom that one would to their own kin. It’s a special relationship and I value it as much as any of the few close relations that I have in life. Some things have not changed.

So I made a decision – this was my vacation. I was not here for anyone but me. I was here to spend some time with people that I genuinely loved. Love that could be sustained only if it was unconditional. I would do what I really felt comfortable doing even if that was not what everyone did or what everyone agreed with – love becomes too much of a bother if you put others ahead of you always. I was touched when I was asked that four days into my vacation, I hadn’t gone anywhere or done anything, did I want to see the sights -  the answer came quite naturally to me. Did I want to see Juhu and Nariman Point and Haji Ali when I visited Mumbai – Nope, I just wanted to be home. That’s what I said. I wanted to hover around the kitchen checking the fridge for leftovers, jabbering away to glory on all topics from man trouble to recipes for cooking steak, raiding the pantry for savouries, lounging on the couch watching TV and feeling lazy, gulping down vegetarian food made for me in a house full of carniviores, getting my leg pulled,  – basically feeling comfortable and safe – feeling at home. I think this may be my best vacation in a really long time.

It is indeed a very merry Christmas.

London Chronicles - My first trip abroad

Don’t be misled by the title – this is in no way a recollection of my trip to Amsterdam which was my maiden international trip. This is when I travelled to Basel for a half day meeting from London – my first travel in my new role from my new “homeland”. The mere frustration and anger that I felt at the end of that trip is adequate for me go on and on about how messed up and manipulative the travel system here is. So I will rant and you will read…..

The biggest bane for any company which purports to be international is it's travel desk. I have come to a conclusion that the more money a company loses on account of it's travel desk the larger they are and the dumber they are. Rates offered by most listed hotels are lesser in many cases when checked directly than when approached via your travel desk. When you ask for quotes, for some reason the travel desk choses to give the most expensive options available. After you have done your research on the internet and have provided them with cheaper fares, they will repackage it and send it back to you as original work. Then there is the whole approval system. The whole option will have to jump through myriad loops of bureaucratic rigmarole. By the time you get the approvals from your bosses who are conveniently located in 3 different timezones, the prices obviously have gone up and then starts the process again. So in effect, an average employee who travels 40%-50% of his / her time on account of work, spends almost the same amount of time arranging the logistics and then claiming expenses (that is a topic for another fun blog).

So, here I was prepared to go to Basel. The visa was in, my presentations to the client were ready – all that was left is get to Basel. The first quote that my travel desk sends me was 350 GBP for London Basel return sector.. you add another 100-150 GBP and you can go to India and back. I am shocked and get cracking on cheapflights.co.uk which tells me that there are tickets on low cost carriers available from GBP 137!! Less than half the price on a normal carrier. I send it to the travel desk with a screenshot of the option and they still come up with a fare higher than what is shown on the net – they come up with GBP 167 which given their competency level I gladly accept. Then comes the approval process which is not too tedious as I have only one approver and he trusts my judgment to a great extent. Somehow between the few hours that it took for the approval to come in, the fares have gone up to GBP 215. I, having worked in the same company for 6 years now and having dealt with at least 3 logistics service providers, had taken an approval for the GBP 350 quote and so was saved from the process of getting new approvals for the fresh fares. So my tickets are issued. No one in the travel desk bothers to inform me of the baggage charges with this excellent orange logoed airline. So I land at the airport with minimal luggage – at least minimal as per me. I have a laptop bag (which does contain only my laptop and it's charger), a small handbag, with some cosmetics, wallet etc and a small carry on suitcase with a change of clothes for my overnight stay. The lady at the counter informs me that I have 3 pieces of luggage and I need to combine all this into one. Now, how much ever I try my Mumbai elasticity on my luggage – it is quite impossible to fit 3 pieces of luggage into a small carry on strolley. I manage to combine my handbag and laptop bag and am forced to check in my overnighter. Then the lady informs me of the charges – GBP 30 for that luggage – I paid GBP 30 to buy that damn piece of luggage and here I am paying that same amount to get one suit and one pair of night clothes across the channel on a 2 hour flight. Didn’t have a choice, so coughed up the extortion money.

For the return journey, I was well prepared because of my educational onward experience. I somehow managed to squeeze everything I had into that small overnighter. Careful planning and my sizeable mass were quite helpful in this endeavor. The check in counter again. The lady asks for my hand luggage and I effortlessly pick up the 6-7 kg suitcase and show her. She lets me in. Redemption at last – or so I thought. Waiting in line to board, another loyal employee of this wonderful airline comes and tells me to fit my suitcase into the onboard luggage “sizer” available near the boarding gate. I always thought those things were for show or to be used to dump empty water bottles etc. Anyway, my suitcase fits into that space just as well as I fit into a medium sized t-shirt – there but not quite there – with the not quite there being the larger bit. So the lady then makes me pay 55 Euros. Not sure how 30 GBP translates to 55 Euros or maybe there is another unwritten rule of how the luggage charges goes up between the checkin counter and boarding gate by nearly 15 GBP. Having no choice, I pay that as well. By this time I am at the end of my politeness – I am as rude to that wonderful woman as I am to a Bangalore auto driver who charges me heaven and earth for a 2 km distance.

Now you might say that alls well that ends well – I can claim these as business expenses but that is not the point. The point is the extent to which airlines will go to make money. Next, I’m sure they will have something about sitting in a flight – standing passengers will get standard fare, sitting with one bum cheek will cost GBP 30 and sitting on your ass fully will cost you GBP 50…. I am sure that the lady who runs this wonderful institution may be scanning social media for tips of how to increase her revenue and if she considers this lucrative idea of mine, I would appreciate it if she just paid back my GBP 100 which her company made me pay.

London Chronicles – Moving in

I have had my fair share of travels in the last 7 years. Living out of a suitcase  is not new to me. Even shifting and setting up a new house is actually not that alien. From my first "out of home" stint in Coimbatore, to life in Amsterdam to setting up two rental houses after marriage to setting up my own one.. I have set up my fair share of houses also. But there was a big difference between my previous moves and this one. I always had someone around, except in case of Amsterdam where I didn’t require anyone simply because I was moving into a fully furnished place – all I needed to do was unpack my suitcase.

Moving into my current home was a mighty task…. I have had a lot of eyebrows raised over the fact that I did it all alone, taken many a compliments on my “bravery”, garnered a ton of sympathy for my husband “abandoning” me in my “time of need”. I almost felt like I deserved a medal of honour or bravery… a jhansi ki rani in modern day London, though I had no clue what I had done to deserve it.

So, let me start at the beginning. Like all good Indian families, mine also thought that Britain was experiencing some kind of drought – no food, no meds, no electronics in this country to sustain life. So in order for me to survive till I foraged enough to sustain my ongoing life, I carried 112 kg of luggage with me. I didn’t physically carry it – if that is the image popping up in your mind – not from India anyway. I used a particularly effective courier service who came home to pack it all up – from clothes, to my vacuum cleaner, iron box, Phillips mixer, rice cooker to sets of plastic containers of all sizes, to crockery to enough groceries for at least 2 months – I’m not exaggerating. In hind sight it was a good idea – not because of drought in Britain but because of the fact that I get reimbursed by my company for transporting the luggage and I wouldn’t have got paid if I had purchased all that here. The deal with the courier company was that they would ship the stuff from India once I gave them a permanent address. As soon as my offer on the house was accepted, I mailed the address to the courier guys. The courier was to reach in 4-5 working days – maximum by Friday or by next Monday. Friday came and went and no one called. No progress on the online tracker either. I was a bit worried – images of my mixer being used to make minced meat and my rice cooker being used to make chicken biryani had started haunting me. So I decided to call them on Saturday and to my shock they said they had already made the delivery – on Friday – to a house where no one lived!!! Can you beat that? So I rushed there as soon as I could, or at least as soon as the London weekend public transport system would allow you to get from Ilford to Kingston. Dragging a 25KG suitcase with me while trying to find my way from the station didn't speed up the process either. And then there was the case of the furniture I had ordered online.

That’s a whole different story, but it is quite necessary that it be told for you to understand my moving in drama to its full extent.

The house I had rented was bare except for a fully kitted kitchen (sans a microwave – an oven is not the same as a microwave – I found out that later) and wardrobes in both bedrooms. So I needed to get a sofa, 2 beds, mattresses, cloth drying stand, ironing board, coffee tables etc…. I tried ordering online, but I didn’t have a debit card. The day I got my debit card, I put in a huge order with one of the cheapest online stores here – Argos – Ikea was out of question (if you've read my previous blog, you will know why?).. I don’t think they even deliver cushions which didn’t require assembly. Anyway Argos was much quicker on delivery time, the quality couldn’t be that much different as the prices were not and so Argos it was. Of my huge order, there was a small order made up of multiple items amounting to around 250 quid and a bigger order consisting of the bed and the sofa amounting to around 550 quid. For some unknown reason, the bigger order was rejected by my bank, the smaller one was authenticated but I didn’t get a confirmation from Argos and neither did the transaction appear on my bank statement. So I figured that the transaction had failed. I will try again later. So it came as a shock to me when I got an SMS on Saturday morning – the same Saturday that I was planning to shift – that my order was ready for delivery and would be delivered between 8 and 1.

You can imagine that while I was lugging my suitcase, trying to figure out from Google maps where the hell my house was, I had a lot on my mind. I finally found the house and a sight that buttressed my belief that I had made a right choice by selecting the house for its location. My front door was covered with packages – at least 8 of them of all shapes and sizes – just lying in front of my door. I didn’t know how to react. I was standing there stunned surrounded by all these packages when I hear a voice – “Are you the new tenant?” I see an old lady, white, with white hair and blue eye shadow who I realise is my downstairs neighbor. She sees me as a damsel in distress – for the first time in my life I actually felt like one. She invites me for a cup of coffee which I badly need. I am wondering what to do with my suitcase and then I figure – if no one has bothered to steal my packages, then maybe no one will steal my suitcase either. Right then my knight in shining armour arrives…. No it’s not my husband making a dramatic entry which would be what would be expected in true Bollywood fashion. It is the property inventory guy – but that day, to me – he was no lesser than Hritik Roshan playing Krrish to the rescue. An affable guy who walks me through the house, shows me chinks in the property I hadn’t seen before, shows me how the appliances work , towards the end of our tour and explanation of the process – asks me the penultimate question –“do you have anyone to help you with your luggage?” I say ‘Nope”. “So how exactly were you planning to get all this stuff up?” “Good question . Best answer – either rolling them over the stairs or dragging them”. He looks at me as if I am cuckoo and says – not asks, but says “I’m going to help you”. I could have jumped up and kissed him right there – I am not lying – I was happy and relieved – it was like having your faith restored.

Now in case you are wondering why I am talking of hauling things up the stairs, though the entrance to my house is at ground level, once you open the door, you have to go up a flight of stairs to the first floor where the actual abode is.

So there we were; the inventory guy (who shall remain an unnamed hero in my chronicles) and I, playing a tango with the huge 30 kg parcels - 4 of them. It was then that I realised, that in the midst of stuff from India was stuff from Argos. Does no one call or ask for signature on delivery in this country???? God… they just leave stuff at your doorstep and expect your neighbours to be upstanding citizens with good morals (I have still not paid for that stuff). After Brit Krrish and I get all the stuff to the landing, he asks me if he could help me with anything else? I am lucky to have encountered decency on my first day in the new house – spread a glow of positivity in me. When I profusely thanked him, he said the usual pleasantries and rushed to his next house. So there I was left with a hallway full of boxes and not even a chair to sit on.

I felt desolate – very desolate indeed. And then there was a knock on the door and my neighbor came to remind me of coffee. A half an hour at her house with coffee that reminded me of home made coffee, a small dog who was extremely well-behaved , a short historical peek into my neighbours life and some not so great hearsay about my landlords, I was back home and looking at what I should do. I found the knife – the courier company wouldn’t carry it in their luggage, so I had carried it in my checked in luggage. I found it and started slashing around. It was more frustration and loneliness that got to me than the mere physical exhaustion that the events of the day had brought down on me. A few boxes ripped and bubble wrap and thermocol bits all around the house, I needed time out. So I decided to get myself a chair made and realized that I didn’t have any tools. I needed to go to Kingston to get a toolkit.

Down the road from my house and across the street was the Thames walkway to Kingston. It was not until I went down the steps to the walkway that I realized how close to my dream I was. It was one of those rare days that the sun is shining bright, you can see the sun rays shimmer over the water, the Kingston bridge across the river, trees losing their leaves in the foreground, families holding hands, pushing prams, old couples walking as if they fell in love yesterday, people jogging, rowing and I was here to stay… this could be my life. This is what I wanted.. I was finally getting it. It was enough for someone like me – tough gal, tomboy exterior, to almost feel guilty – guilty that I was so happy at the moment that I was not missing my family enough. What kind of person am I??

My first DIY project – wasn’t easy – it was the first time that I was actually trying to make something. It was grueling but I did it – gingerly sat on the chair and it didn’t break… I know it was not rocket science, but for the first time I understood why some people derive so much joy from working with their hands – carpentry, pottery, gardening; it is extremely fulfilling to see something take a concrete shape in front of you – even if all you did was screw on some nuts and bolts.

With the chair done, I was calling it a day – I looked back and saw a house too messed up for me to live in and anyway half my luggage was still at my hotel at Ilford. So I was on a train back to Ilford and reminiscing my day… Gosh! Was I tired!!

The next day – a bright new day – I decided that I was going to officially move in. I checked out of the hotel and started my last and final journey from Ilford to Kingston. I started at 9.30 AM and reached home at 1. Three and a half hours for a journey which should ideally take an hour and 15 minutes. Didn’t know at that time that trains on that route do not work on Sundays as they are closed for repairs. So after an extremely tiring journey home – all I wanted to do was to sit on my recently assembled throne and rock to sleep – but there was a long day ahead of me – things to do. By the end of the day, I had set up my kitchen, thrown most of my clothes in a closet, made a temporary bed – 2 blankets and a sleeping bag and an led an exploration into the bowels of my attic to store the packaging material. Unlike back home where I once actually put a washbasin in trash and it was actually taken away – here there was rules about how you dispose off packing material. The rules were too much for me to digest at that point and so I thought I could just dump it in the attic till my next move when it could be used again. All the unpacking made me remember the times that mom and I had spent in packing – the thought that she put into each item, stuff that I forgot, didn’t think of or deemed unnecessary. The times dad & I spent in putting together the suitcase and weighing it a hundred times to ensure it was within limits. It was strange to have such widely conflicting emotions on consecutive days – one that made me happy where I was and one that made me yearn to go back – at least to meet my parents, if nothing else.

I folded for the night – my first night in a sleeping bag, in a new house. I slept with the lights on, still do. The house creaks when you walk on it, the boiler makes weird noises and it is so quite outside that every little sound manifests itself a hundred times more loudly. I didn’t get much sleep that night, but I was finally home.

And so today, I spend my 3^rd weekend in the house. I have a TV, cable, internet, some trinkets from home which made my home look homely, a pastel blue wall clock, a microwave, clothes neatly folded away or hung, all the papers - from the rental agreement to the bank documents to the contract openings for water, electricity and cable organized in box files – a sofa and bed on their way. I am as settled as I could hope to be……. Till the family arrives and then starts the process of resettlement.. one that I am looking forward to.

I will no longer be alone – there is only so much silence and solitude that one can relish and while I am relishing the time alone – I may not for too long. Or worse still I may enjoy it so much that arrival of my family can seem like an unwelcome intrusion. That very thought scares me…..

London Chronicles – Out & About

You know all those dreams you have of being in the best cities of the world.. London, Paris, New York…. Well I am living my dream.. working in London, minutes away from the Buckingham palace. It doesn’t get any better from this – location wise. The flip side is I don’t live at or anywhere near the Palace. So I need to travel to work – almost an hour one way daily. So what’s the big deal – most people do you say. But it depends on whom you ask. For example – In Bangalore, the hour, hour and a half to or from work was in the comfort of my car listening to RJ Shraddha and RJ Daraius. I knew the trouble points and was mentally prepared – Marthahalli, KR Puram…. When you are in Mumbai, everything is a mad rush really. The only good thing about being in a local train at peak hours is that you are so squeezed from all sides that you really don’t feel anything – no pain from standing hours on a local from Churchgate to Virar or VT to Karjat – in fact you are so cocooned that you can actually sleep standing. For our friends from Delhi – it’s the hours spend at the Delhi – Gurgaon toll plaza that is the bane. For us Londonnites (look at me – 3 weeks in the country and calling myself a Londonnite…) it’s the myriad forms of public transport that is available. I have discovered that from my home to my office is around an hour door to door. No matter which route I take the time taken remains the same – an oh boy… how many options to choose from. So let me describe the few that I have discovered in the past 5 days. I walk to Surbiton station – take a national rail train (southwest line) to Waterloo. Now a fast train would take me directly to Waterloo from where I take a tube via Bakerloo line to Embankment which is one stop from Waterloo and from there a District or Circle line tube to St. James’s park which is 2-3 stops from Embankment. A slow train to Waterloo will stop at around 6 stops on the way. So one of my options is to get down at Wimbledon and take a District line from there to St. James’s park. Or to get down at Vauxhall and take a Victoria line to Victoria Station and walk down to the office. These are three options that I discovered in the past few days. I’m sure that as days go by, more routes will be added to this list. So what makes you decide your preferred route. First, there is the time factor – which is the quickest route – there is no shortest route, so quickest will have to do. If you are under a misconception that a fast train to Waterloo will actually get you there faster, you are mistaken. Like in Mumbai, a fast train will most probably come in after 3 slow trains. And even if one route actually got you from point A to B faster, the number of stairs and escalators that you had to go up and down to cross over from National rail to Bakerloo line to District line to Victoria line… you really don’t require any other exercise. Just climbing up and down the stairs and running from one platform to another will get you calories burning. The other factor is obviously the comfort factor – the Wimbledon option is really the slowest of the above, but it is the most comfortable. I get a place to sit on the train from Surbiton because it is a slow train. I always get a place to sit on the tube from Wimbledon and most of the trip is over ground… so you get to take in the sights. So I prefer this over the others.

Being on a train or a tube is almost like being on a plane – you have a guard making an announcement in a very cultured, clipped tone. Sometimes you have odd ball characters like I had today on my District line tube” Hello ladies and gentlemen and welcome to the district line train to Tower Hill taking a very scenic route via Putney, West Kensington, Earls court, Victoria, Embankment and Tower hill. This train will attempt to stop at all stations on the way to and especially at Tower Hill. So take you seats if you have found one and enjoy the rest of the ride.” They wish you a pleasant day or a safe onward journey at the end of your trip. They all mention that we look at the safety information displayed in each compartment and that we keep our belongings to ourselves. All of them let us know why a train is running late or has stopped at an unscheduled stop. They apologize a hundred times though their voices emote no feeling. And very much like our flights, trains are often late. They have a good reason like “person falling on tracks”, “signal fault”, “faulty train before”.. so a lot of your time is spent on platforms… waiting for the next train, the next tube, the red light to change, the dead man to be removed.

The other thing that needs to be mentioned when you talk public transport is your fellow passenger. It was a pleasant surprise when I got into a tube and nearly everyone was reading something or the other. Most are reading the free newspapers handed out outside most stations, but others are reading novels, magazines, something on their ipads or kindles. It is so heartening to see people read. I have almost never in my 5 years in Bangalore see people read in public transport. Can’t blame them fully. Difficult to read properly when you are on a roller coaster ride due to the condition of the roads or so crammed that you can hardly take a full breath let alone spread a news paper to its full length. Most of them have their headphones on. Some are playing stupid phone games. But there is one thing in common. No one ever talks. You may have a couple of people or a bunch of people who are together having a conversation in hushed tones, people speaking in polite, courteous tones into their cell phones – but never ever striking a conversation with a stranger – that is an unwritten rule on the London underground – thou shalt not speak to thy neighbor. Maybe the only commandment strictly followed in London. I find it quite amusing to see people. Actually see them, not to hide behind books or ear phones, but to actually observe humanity in its raw form. All shapes, sizes and colours of people. Formally dressed, stylishly dressed, shabbily dressed, drinking coffee, balancing books, kissing and fondling, airing their dirty laundry, out of place strangers, people who belong so much that they almost blend in with the décor of the train – what they do, how they sit, how they react.. it is a fascinating study of the human species and its free and uninterrupted – till the person leaves the train.

Once you get off a train the next interesting thing is getting on all those stairs and escalators. People in London have immense patience. You can see two structured lines, barely moving in the direction of the stairs. The odd one person or so who is in a hurry slightly jostling others, but more or less everyone – just waiting for their turn to get on to the steps – in an orderly fashion. Imagine putting them at Dadar station at peak hours. They would end up paying for therapy sessions for the rest of their lives to recover from the emotional trauma. I haven’t counted, but am sure that I climb up and down at least 100 steps everyday. If I still don’t lose weight – at least I tried.

After you get off the stairs and escalators beeping your oyster card at each gate, you land into a big cross over hall in most big stations – Victoria, waterloo, Liverpool street. Such halls are a sea of black and grey – all rushing across all corners to board the next mode of transport to their next point. In the midst you may see a rush of colour, a whimsical blue, or a bold red, or the more common pastel or brown – but mostly it is just a sea of black and grey. Sometimes with poppies or broaches on the lapels, sometimes with dainty scarves, sometimes with a shirt so colourful you know that the guy is gay, sometimes with a red dotted bow tie, sometimes with coat tails, but mostly black or grey pants, skirts or dresses with black overcoats.

After all that darkness - the darkness of the tubes, the tunnels, the clothes, the silence, you come out of the station into a rush of blinding light. You just want to rush into it, embrace it with all you have…..its London, you don’t have too much of day light anyway.

London Chronicles - The very beginning

I got my laptop today and I thought the first use of this implement is, after checking mails and letting my office know that I’m open for business, to pen down my new series of blogs on London life. I always had this dream that my blogs which are hardly read by anyone today, would one day be considered the pinnacle of literature and be published. Maybe pinnacle of literature is a bit too much (but given that Chetan Bhagat’s writings are considered awesome, I don’t see why mine might not be viewed as such) but published – oh yes…. Definitely they would be published and I would make tons of money in royalty and book rights and movie rights………. You get the drift, right. So if you wanted some sane reading, this is where you stop and find yourself maybe a Chetan Bhagat novel. But if you are one with a brave heart, then march on my friend…

I made the decision to look for employment abroad sometime in the mid of 2013. Considering that I actually didn’t get any calls from employment agencies or companies outside (not that I didn’t try), I decided to ask my employer if they would give me a chance. It did come as a surprise when they didn’t laugh their heads off at my request. After a couple of weeks of swinging between 2 continents, they decided that I shall keep the Queen company. Then started a whole bureaucratic process of getting approvals of everyone in the company – it almost seemed as if they would also need to speak to the Queen as to whether she would actually fancy my presence in her country. So after jumping through as many hoops as a circus lion would have to on a good day, my bosses (bless their souls for not giving up on this noble mission) let me know that I am good to go. This whole process took almost 3 months. The visa process was surprisingly quick - just four weeks end to end and before you knew it, I had my passport with a work visa stamped on it. Now there was no excuse to linger on. So a couple of days after I got my passport I was packed and ready to board a plane to relocate to London. I have always felt some bit of emotion when I left the country longish periods, especially after my daughter came along. This time though was different. It would be by far the longest period I would have stayed away from my daughter, it was a difficult state in which I left my parents – they had their own struggles and I added to their burden by having them take care of my kid, but for some reason, I didn’t cry this time around. Maybe a couple of tears when I kissed my daughter good bye in her sleep, but that was it. No thinking of it in the airport or on flight. I was genuinely looking forward to my new life… It was a new chapter and I was determined to enjoy it to the fullest.

So then, after I landed, I needed to get to Ilford, for that is where my company provided serviced apartments were. It cost me 110 quid to get here… so within a couple of hours of landing in UK, I had spent ~13% of the total money that I had on me. It was a drive that lasted nearly 2 hours in which time I had great company in form of Mr. Ahmed Munir, a very knowledgeable gentleman who gave me great tips on life in UK. He also told me that the drive wouldn’t have cost me more than £60 if I would have booked directly – great start to life in the UK. The apartment building for some reason didn’t have parking in front of it and so we were forced to park some distance away and there I was lugging away my suitcases and crossing 3 signals in whistling wind to get to the building. The apartment was well – for the lack of a better vocabulary spectacular – the views from the 22^nd floor were breathtaking.. it was like one of those full length posters with the bright lights of  New York or London skylines that people have on their walls except that in my case it was real. Sitting on the sofa looking out the floor to ceiling windows, I wished I drank alcohol; it seemed like the perfect moment to open the bubbly.

First visit to Sainsbury to get the essentials and I was disappointed – wonderful looking bananas, the only fruit that I actually enjoy, bought at £1.69, were rotten before I got them home. First day to office and I was disappointed, I was told I wouldn’t get a laptop for a week. So I went house hunting the next day – saw 7 houses in a day… didn’t remember one from another by the end but it was a good experience. I really didn’t see the point of seeing more houses, getting confused with more choices, so I put an offer on 3 houses. Now that offers were out, I needed to figure out a way to get some money to pay for set-up. The company recommended HSBC, they said they didn’t have an appointment till around 10 days later – an appointment to open a new bank account – and they wonder why their economy is not growing fast enough. I walk over to Natwest and they spend half an hour taking down my details only to tell me at the end of it that I would have to wait for a week before I got my account number. It was as if I had communicated the urgency of my situation to them in Malayalam and it got lost in translation. So I crossed the road and walked over to Lloyds. Now there is something to be said if a pure Brit bank actually steps on the gas and gets you an account in half an hour flat. So I walked back to office, a proud account holder of Lloyds Bank and was told by my HR team that I would actually get paid my salary in November. That was unexpected – good news. My offer was accepted after a bit of bargaining and to be honest, I was not sure if I was happy or not about it. The truth of the matter was I didn’t remember anything of the property, except it was supposed to have a small private garden out back. Now that I had a house, I decided to buy some basic furniture. So a visit to Ikea was warranted. It scared the living daylights out of me. Why would anyone want to go there and buy anything is beyond me – it looked like so much hard work. I missed India for the first time. So online shopping it was – before I discovered that my Indian credit card wouldn’t work on the website for some reason. So here I was stuck in London, one of the most expensive cities in the world, with my ever depleting stash of hard cash which I converted when I entered the country and no access to my own hard earned money. No credit card, no debit card and delays in getting money from India.. for the first time in more  than a decade I was at a stage that I may have to borrow money from someone… the mere thought of that was sickening. Borrowing from parents was ok, but total strangers that you met a couple of days back…. I just wished that it wouldn’t come to that. So I came up with a solution – a sleeping bag – that is what I would move into the new house with – it was fully carpeted and had heating… a sleeping bag should do just fine for starters. I had over 100kg of luggage coming from home in India, that would take care of the daily necessities. The house already had a fully fitted kitchen and wardrobes. So basically I was looking at a sofa set, a couple of beds, mattresses, dining chairs and a TV as additions. Given the pathetic quality of entertainment on display on TV in UK, getting the box  was actually not too high on my list – un understandable books by Mark Haddon seemed quite exciting in comparison. In due course I will get a debit card and I will start building up my home collection – converting a “rental property” to a home – slowly and steadily – the Brit way.

I have waxed eloquently about events and completely left out the other big thing in life - people. Considering that most of my interaction has been with folks from work, most of whom are Indian, it is a good feeling that you can speak Hindi in office while in UK. I also have spent my days thus far in Ilford which is heavily populated by Asians.. so all in all, I have seem more Asians in UK (in Ilford, in the serviced apartment, in trains, tubes, streets -  surprisingly low number of Chinese looking people) than I have seen whites or more specifically White Brits. Most whites I have seen are Polish, Russians, Spanish – all variety… it is quite a good feeling that the city is so inclusive. But you do sense an underlying frustration in London. This feeling is more pronounced in packed trains and tubes than anywhere I have been till now. It is quite simple really. You can’t unveil any of your discomfort without actually blaming it on someone else. In closed quarters like the tube most of these “someone else” are always from a different race, country, religion or of a different colour and being a inclusive city or being expected to be a more inclusive city like the new mayor of London  expressed a couple of days back, if everytime a Brit felt uneasy and went around complaining, you would have fist fights almost all the time. We have it in India too, Maharashtrians blame the Madrasis for taking all their jobs who blame the Gujjus for being so loud mouthed who blame the Bengalis for being so lazy who blame the Punjabis for being so boisterous and of course everyone blames the Muslims and the bhaiiyyas…. But at the end of it – it is our country – by birth, by right, by ancestry and we – despite our differences are all Indian. Its different when an Indian shouts at another – it’s all within the “family”.. London is trying very hard to be a family, but it comes across as a foster home – a very good, kind and generous one, don’t get me wrong, but it’s just not home. 

Obviously I have been in the country for all of 8 days, so what do I know.....

Driving for dummies

I got my LMV (light motor vehicle) driving license in 2002 – a good decade back. It’s only since the last 5-6 days that I’ve actually been taking my new car to my office and have a sense of actually driving. For people accustomed to the Indian car market and road conditions – I used to own a Tata Indica and now have a Tata Nano. I tried taking the Indica about 5 years back, but was not too confident or comfortable. That stint lasted for exactly a week at the end of which I realized that I was better off just bargaining with the auto drivers and then sitting back comfortably for the rest of the journey.

But with the new car a lot has changed. I think it has to do majorly with a few factors:

·         It is a new car and I bought it for full cash. So the fact that it just stands there and rots is bound to cause you tremendous pain. So you will take the car out just so that you feel you haven’t wasted your hard earned money.

·         It is relatively cheap – it must be the cheapest car in the Indian market currently @ 2.67L fully loaded and on road. The biggest fear of a novice driver is that they will bump the car. With a car which is so cheap, the heartache caused by a bump is not too painful. Of course, you have to be prepared for the fact that there will be a few dents and scratches before you could graduate to a better / bigger car.

·         It is really small – and hence is quite easy to maneuver. In my view if an auto can get into a gap, so can a Nano. For a novice driver who doesn’t have mastery over steering control, this is a very big boon as a small change in direction really doesn’t cause much disruption on road. But you do have to be careful and have to look at the mirrors when you try this.

With my new found confidence in driving ( and I’m writing this at 6 days into my driving stint), I thought I could share a few tips and tricks for those who have licenses, technically know how to drive but are scared of practical application of their knowledge.

1.       Get familiar with the car – how to operate the windows, the signals, the wipers etc. Will give you some sense of comfort. Ask someone who has operated the car before about pickup. Nano is not a very powerful car, so when you try driving it after you have driven a 1.2 cc or 1.6 cc car, you are bound to have a lot of trouble keeping it from shutting down in the middle of the road because you expect it to behave like the more powerful car. So knowing how much gas should you press, when and how much to let the clutch go etc are things that you will obviously get to know when you drive, but it is always safe to get a sense of these factors from experienced folks.

2.       Practice while still – The biggest challenge that most people face is shifting gears. So practice with the car switched off. Just keep shifting gears, try all possible combinations – in normal order 1-2-3-4 and back, then jump between gears, 4^th to 2^nd, 3^rd to 1^st etc. Don’t forget neutral and reverse – very important gears indeed.

3.       Drive on empty roads – find a stretch of road close to your house where you can practice. Try shifting gears, going for a long distance in 1^st gear at really low speeds, imitating bumper to bumper traffic i.e. stopping and then going a few feet and starting again. If possible find a stretch with an incline and practice stopping and moving ahead on this. This is extremely critical and one of the most commonly used skills on Indian roads where leveled roads are extremely hard to find.

4.       Find a friend to drive with you – when you do these practice sessions, get someone whom you trust (not necessarily someone who knows driving) to sit with you on the passenger seat. This person will give you confidence that in case something happens you are not alone and also can be a good sounding board. Avoid know it all kind of friends who try correcting everything you do or the ones who will undermine your confidence i.e. who tell you to go uber slow, keep extreme left and at the 1^st sign of trouble tell you that you are not ready

5.       Go on familiar roads at early hours – When I decided to take my car to office, I took it for a trial run to my office on a Sunday at 7.30 am. What this did is made me familiar with the road, give me confidence that I can do it (even if it is at very minimal traffic conditions) and make me aware of common mistakes that I commit – jumping over speed breakers, slowing without shifting gears, moving on inclines etc. Be sure to take your friend with you.

6.       Start driving – make up your mind to take the car to office or some place that you frequent. Start early. I used to leave home at 7 am for the 1^st 3 days. Even at 7 am on working days there would be medium traffic. I remember the 1^st day when my left leg (the one on the clutch) shivered in fear the whole way through a busy stretch. I also remember that the car stopped in the middle of the road at least half a dozen times. Don’t let this deter you. Do this for a few days – start early from home and office. This really gets your confidence high!

7.       Find your leader – When you are just starting to drive, my biggest advice on getting it right in traffic, especially unruly / unorganized traffic is find a vehicle in front of you (preferably one without a L board) and follow it closely. The vehicle in front of you will do the navigation for you, all you need to do it follow it closely and not allow anyone else to come between you. For those few hundred meters, this vehicle is your best friend.

8.       Use the mirrors – I always knew technically how to drive. But I had zero road sense. I have never really used the mirrors effectively before. I realized in the last few days, that looking at the mirrors is actually required. I am yet to learn how to effectively use the passenger side mirrors but I believe it will come in time.

9.       Don’t be bothered – Don’t be bothered by small things – small dents, scratches etc. Also ensure that you never try multi-tasking while driving – don’t pick calls (put your phone on silent to avoid distraction), don’t try changing music channels etc.. Remember you are still learning and have your hands full just keeping the car on the road and keeping yourself alive.

10.   Measure yourself – if there are speed breakers that you jumped over yesterday, evaluate what you did wrong and try to do better today. You will realize that everything which looked like a big uphill task on day 1 start slowly getting demystified by day 3-4.

11.   Don’t worry about fuel efficiency – Nano is supposed to give a mileage of ~20KM/L in city traffic. My last full tank of petrol gave me around 16. I am good with that. There are a lot of inefficiencies when you are learning. For ex: the whole stretch of nearly a kilometer and half which is the most crowded on my way to and from office, I drive the vehicle in 1^st gear. An experienced driver would effortlessly shift between gears, but I’m still building confidence. My aim is to keep my vehicle moving… so there will be some loss of fuel, but it is collateral damage in your effort to be a good driver – it’s an investment.

12.   Build courage but don’t be stupid – slowly try and take the car out at medium traffic times or to reasonably congested areas to build your confidence. But beware of being over confident. Remember, you are still learning – don’t try tricks like weaving between vehicles, speeding, driving with one hand, overtaking from the left etc. These are dangerous in the best of circumstances and can land the best of drivers in trouble. You are easy bait.

Hopefully  these practical tips will be useful for all those new, under confident drivers out there.

Staying current – why and how?

I hate to admit it, but till a couple of months back, my news updates were limited to Bollywood updates on The Times of India. Then I attended a couple of leadership training programs and realized that no matter how good I am with people, how witty I am, how well I do my work, I will never stay ahead of the curve if I don’t know “my stuff”. Understanding that knowledge is power and working towards gaining that power and using it to excel in my job, garner respect and increase my circle of influence, was my key take way from these training sessions.


So, I got down to knowing my stuff. I am proud to say that I have consistently kept up with my plan for a month now, which is way longer than any health regime that I ever undertook.

So for those of you out there like me, let me give you a few tips on how you can “know your stuff”.

What exactly is your stuff?

There is so much information out there – so what do you want to know? It can be very confusing and many a times very overwhelming to identify what should you be aware of, what should you be an expert on and what should you completely ignore. So sit down and make a list:

• What you should be aware of –

These are generally news, topics of general discussions and topics which will help you to start a conversation. Browse through headlines of a couple of national and international newspapers. Read in detail any news item that catches your interest. Make a conscious effort to read atleast a couple of articles other than ones pertaining to the entertainment and sports section. Go through your company’s website or your main clients’ websites to see if there are any interesting updates. In today’s world finance and technology are big conversation starters. Again don’t try to be an expert, but glance though dailies which give you updates on these.

Now that you are aware of things, try using them in conversations. Start small, maybe at home over the dinner table or with your colleagues over lunch. The transition to a similar conversation with a boss or a client is then very smooth. This basically tells the listener that you are “aware”. You are interested in and know about the world that you live in.

• What you should ignore –

This is a tricky one. You need to be careful that you do not miss out on important updates, but you should also not waste your time reading every word that has been printed. So how do you find that balance? In my view, these are topics in which you are not interested at all AND (and this is a very big and) which do not impact your work and life – for ex: I had heard some time back that Einstien’s theories would be disproved or something to that effect. Even if I read tons of articles on it, am not sure I would understand what is being discussed, neither am I interested. Similarly cases of corruption in India are so rife that to waste my time trying to understand the schematics of each would be depressing. So I just tell myself – “that’s another bunch of my tax money down the drain” and go on with life. Some important facts like who is the PM and which party is ruling, I know from the above section – the rest anyway doesn’t impact me on a daily basis, so I don’t waste time trying to follow up. But if there are topics that you are not interested in, but you need to know for your work, then they become part of the third bucket.

• What you should be an expert on?

Being an expert on Sachin Tendulkar’s cricket stats is of no use unless you are a sports analyst, commentator etc. But might be important to you as every ton of his causes you personal ecstacy. So in my view, you should be an expert on two things:

o Things you are passionate about

o Things you need to know to make you successful at your workplace

For some fortunate people both these coincide with each other; but for most mortals they are different. I am passionate about travel, fiction books and American crime series (no shame in admitting). None of them get my job done. What I need to know to get my job done and done well are auditing standards, corporate governance frameworks, updates in accounting world, regulatory updates etc. None of them are half as much fun as CSI series….But I need to keep myself updated. So how do I do that? A few tips that worked for me are:

o Link this knowledge acquisition to something at work –

Decide to write a paper or contribute to your official website once every two months on a new development or decide to take a training on a new topic every month. Put these as a part of your KRA. Believe me, unless there is an actual impact, at least initially, you will more often than not find an excuse to not do it. You will find that once you get into a habit of keeping yourself updated, it comes naturally. It no longer is “forced” – its “natural”.

o Find interesting sources –

Reading official websites is boring – they are very informative, no doubt, but they are normally very drab. So find interesting blogs on the topic, be part of discussion forums, read new letters / monthly magazines. I subscribe to magazines from ISACA, IIA and ACFE.. they are amazing and interesting sources of information and they come only once a month, so I spent less than 8-10 hours a month reading them. A typical work month has 160 – 180 hours, we are talking of less than 10% of the total time – surely you can find that time.

o Use commute time –

I subscribe to most magazines online and have added the list of websites that I regularly browse as favourites. On my way to and from office daily, with FM playing loud Bollywood music in my years, I put my smartphone to good use – I read on the way. Two hours daily of being stuck in traffic being put to building my knowledge base!! I have to thank the government for this indirect investment they make in me by not repairing roads and solving traffic congestions. No more compliants of no time to read....

o Have an opinion and share it -

Do what I’m doing. Write a blog, tweet about new developments, update your linkedin page with comments on relevant topics. The funny thing is every one has an opinion on everything. So when you share your opinions and views on social media , you are bound to get a lot of comments. To stand your ground, you need to KNOW YOUR STUFF!

Try these simple tips and see if they help you. Remember you need to keep at it – knowledge acquisition is akin to breathing, you stop – you die.

Working from home – Do’s and Don’ts

With globalization taking over corporate life and employees seeking to balance work across time zones and their personal lives, companies are increasingly promoting the use of “work from home” as an incentive to keep employees motivated and also bring down infrastructure costs associated with having employees in an office. There are many businesses which maintain an office purely for skeletal staff and administrative purposes, but have almost 100% of employees working from their homes. While whether this is a good practice from an employee connect perspective or not is a topic for another discussion. What I have tried to list down in this article are a few essential do’s and don’ts while working from home. These are drawn purely from personal experience as I myself work extensively from home.


1. Set expectations clear

Most people who work from home do so because of personal reasons / commitments – health, kids etc. So communicate those reasons upfront to your employer. Discuss black out periods, when you will not be available; back up plans for those times, specific deliverables / KPI’s etc; so that your employer is aware of when you are available and what to expect from you.

2. Plan your day

Like any day at office, plan your day even when working from home. If you have to drop your kids to school, pick them up, chauffer them for extra curricular activities, bake those times into your daily schedule and plan meetings around them. When you have immovable deadlines; plan your day in such a way that you either start the day early or stretch at night, have someone to cover for the some of your personal errands etc.

3. Get the right infrastructure

Get a good high speed broad band connection, an external camera, power backup (if you are in cities like Pune, Bangalore which are plagued by power cuts) etc. Even if your company doesn’t pay for all or part of these, consider these to be your investment for the work-life balance that you are striving for. This will ensure that you are able to work effectively, do F2F meetings if required on skype etc.

4. Get the schematics right

This includes your work space and your work attire. Believe you me – when you are dressed professionally, you sub consciously start acting professionally. Being dressed in boxer shorts and an old T gives you a feeling of casualness. This may not be appropriate for most lines of business and may subtly hinder your work process. Similarly sitting plomped n your couch with TV on or on your bed with a pack of chips next to you will have the same effect. Obviously dressing up in a 3 piece suit when at home would be extreme; unless of course you are having a video conference with senior stakeholders in which case it may be warranted. But have a work desk ready with required office paraphernalia – pens, post it’s, note pads, chargers etc. Dress in comfortable casuals – even a fresh pair of jeans and a formal shirt would do the trick.

5. Be available when you say you will be

Log into your office messenger service or Lync etc when you start your day and show that you are available. Be prompt in responding to calls, emails like you would when you are in office. When you leave your computer, put an appropriate status message on the office communicator to indicate when you will be back. Use the time you are online effectively for productive official work – anything else in my view would be downright unethical and a breach of trust that your organization has placed on you.

These in my view are a few basics that would be a good foundation to productively deliver from home. Would love your views if there are any other factors that have worked for you.