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Thursday, December 26, 2013

London Chronicles – First Christmas in London


My first Christmas in London and I decide to spend it outside. 7 years back I was in Amsterdam and had crossed the channel to spend Christmas in London. It was my first trip to London and I still have fond memories. So in tribute to that cross channel Christmas tradition, I decided to spend this Christmas in Amsterdam. Now when you mention Amsterdam to anyone, you can guess what is going through their minds… weed, gays, babes and canals. For me it was none of this. It was two families. Two families which had taken me under their wings all those years back, fed me, cared for me, put a roof over my head when I wanted. For me it was like going back to home. So it was with great excitement that I decided to spend the whole Christmas week here. I shopped for Christmas gifts, did a decent job in wrapping them up and finally packed my bags and landed in Amsterdam.

Everything felt like de ja vu. The names of the shops, the language, the layout of the airport, the bus stand, the final destination, the walk up to the house, the two steps to the entrance, the door, the matriarch who opened the door, the warmth of the hug, the love in the smile, the “at home” feeling when I entered the house. Nothing had changed.

Then the kids came – only they were no longer kids, they were adults, they had their own personalities, their own views, styles. Made me feel older. Then there were new faces. A lot of the people I knew had moved on – as had I. They were no longer in Netherlands. They had been replaced by a larger number of new faces. I met a whole lot of them in the first three days of being here. Many of them had been here for 4-5 years. Their position as a part of the "gang" was far stronger than mine. Who was I –  someone who was here for a few months many years back. Everything had changed.

Then came some of the things that I remember as being things and events that I clearly didn’t like – the incessant partying, the attempts to make conversation with people you don’t want to spend time with, the lack of private time – upon reflection – the last one is an oxymoron of sorts. I am not part of the families but I expect to get private time with them which in retrospect would include excluding me. I’m sure everyone who lives here and is a part of the families lives, expects the same consideration – everyone expects to be equally special, to be invited to that special family dinner, that special family occasion… not sure why that expectation when you know you are an outsider, but the families have indeed been different to me. I have to admit, I do feel quite happy when they introduce me as their eldest kid or offer me the freedom that one would to their own kin. It’s a special relationship and I value it as much as any of the few close relations that I have in life. Some things have not changed.

So I made a decision – this was my vacation. I was not here for anyone but me. I was here to spend some time with people that I genuinely loved. Love that could be sustained only if it was unconditional. I would do what I really felt comfortable doing even if that was not what everyone did or what everyone agreed with – love becomes too much of a bother if you put others ahead of you always. I was touched when I was asked that four days into my vacation, I hadn’t gone anywhere or done anything, did I want to see the sights -  the answer came quite naturally to me. Did I want to see Juhu and Nariman Point and Haji Ali when I visited Mumbai – Nope, I just wanted to be home. That’s what I said. I wanted to hover around the kitchen checking the fridge for leftovers, jabbering away to glory on all topics from man trouble to recipes for cooking steak, raiding the pantry for savouries, lounging on the couch watching TV and feeling lazy, gulping down vegetarian food made for me in a house full of carniviores, getting my leg pulled,  – basically feeling comfortable and safe – feeling at home. I think this may be my best vacation in a really long time.

It is indeed a very merry Christmas.

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Mumbai product - went around the world - got hitched and escaped from the Silicon city of India to the land of glamour and royalty - London. I write every time my heart stirs......