A, B, C...Z and Some Extras...

There is a very famous piece of dialogue in Namak Halal (1982) starring AB, which is “I can talk English, I can walk English, I can laugh English because English is a very funny language”. I agree with AB on this one. English is indeed a very funny language. I’m not talking about the spoken language. That’s funny all right, but it’s a topic for another time. What interests me more after my travels around the worlds, is the use of English alphabets, or let’s say the Latin alphabets. India being a country which has such a wide variety languages and an equally tall order of scripts, we have never had to use the English language to express our linguistic thoughts. We would use English to type out our Hindi sms’s or to communicate our Regional movie names!! There is no other reason to use English alphabets other than when we are communicating in English. However, this is no so in other parts of the world.


In Netherlands, the official language is Dutch. They have all the alphabets of English (I think) and an extra one “ij” – pronounced “I” or a “Y’ makes you wonder the plight of the “j”. How redundant would it be feeling! So Rijwijk becomes Rywiek. By the way, the Dutch are crazy about their “ij’s”. They pronounce the “G” as “Kh”, so for example “Gratis” meaning free, becomes “Khratis”. And that’s not all, the “Kh” has come from the base of your throat – as if you are gathering all the phlegm you have been storing in your chest. They call “I’ as “E” – so Identity becomes Edentity. They also pronounce “V” as “F”, so you have Vincent Van Gogh which is pronounced Fincent Faan Khoh.


Then there is Poland and its obsession with “z”. In most cultures that I enter, I at least get the basics. This was one language which is beyond my comprehension. How can it be… every 2nd letter is “Z”. So I went to this place spelt Gorzyce and it was called Gorzhitca. I went to another place spelt Wroclaw and it was called Wratsvav. J is called “Y”. Apparently its just in English that J is called J as in Jack and Just and Jug. So Jaeck is called Yacek. There are a lot of other names which I don’t know how to write or read… so just leave it at that, that I will not be speaking Polish any time soon.


My latest fascination is with Spanish. And let me tell you, it is as funny a language as AB thought English was. One of those rare moments when AB measures upto me…..

Anyway “H” is normally silent, but is used abundantly. J is H, L is Y, Q is K and above all is “X”. I have never seen a language so much in love with the letter. They use it in the name of every city. But it is either silent or called H. So let me give you a few examples. Hugo is Ugo. Jorge is Horhe. Padillo is Padiyo and of course Mexico is Mehico, A son is called Hijo and is pronounced Eho and a daughter is called Hija and is pronounced Eha… Sounds like Indian war cries Eho… Eha…..And you can’t imagine the number of cities with X in them. Lets c Mexico city, Acamixtla, Acaxochitlan, Calixtlahuaca, Doxey, Panixtlahuaca…. The list goes on. I think Mexico is the country with the largest number of cities starting with X……

Waiting for more cities and more languages……..will update you….

Little Venice

I never really did think too much about travelogues. Who would anyway be interested in reading some strangers’ tour of a strange country? If there were pictures to look at … now that’s a different story. So it’s with extremely realistic views of the diminutive readership of the following account, that I begin my blog.



I was in Venezuela for a week on work. It’s at times like this that I love my work. How else do you think I would have ever got to see an exotic country like Venezuela?
Anyway it was one of the most interesting trips I have made abroad. The country totally belied my expectations. I thought it would be a typical banana republic – blacks, civil wars, unsafe streets and all.

I was pleasantly surprised. It is a country endowed with a lot of natural resources and people who have the capabilities to exploit the resources for the development of the country. It reminded me so much of India.

The country is warm (not just the temperature); the people are warm and friendly. They make you feel at home, even if you cannot mutually understand a word of what the other person is saying. I had a Spanish tour guide and between us we had, say, 10 words that we could understand, but we did well. He took me to a lot of beautiful places and tried in his own way to make my experience unforgettable. He knew that I had an early morning flight and he offered me a couple of fruits from the bunch he was taking home for his daughter, so that I wouldn’t have to get on my flight on an empty stomach.
Venezuela has a great mixture of different cultures – Indians (Red), Spanish, Arabs, Japanese, Asians, Americans. It’s a country that is so inclusive..... It allows you to lead your own life. It takes whatever is good from you and makes it a part of its lifeline. You could never feel unwelcome in Venezuela.

The country has a fairly developed infrastructure. Good roads, decent public transport system, the tallest building in Latin America, Parque Central, the biggest and busiest shopping districts in Latin America – mainly known for its eateries – one can find food from all over the world on this street is in Caracas – Las Mercedes.

There are many things atypical of Venezuela. For one, I wouldn’t be caught dead driving in Venezuela – not because it is dangerous. Simply because except for 2-3 main highways, the city of Caracas is riddled with many small streets- very much like gallies in Mumbai. It would take some one with an excellent directional sense, like yours truly, a lifeltime to figure out how to get from place A to place B. My gracious host ensured that he took me through a different route every day from my hotel to the office, just so that I could see more of the city. I didn’t even try to figure out the route.
Another thing which reminds me of home is the weather. Just like in Bangalore, the skies are forever cloudy. Even if it rains, it’s just for a few moments and then the sun is there – bright and shining.
My biggest fear when I travel outside of India is the food factor. I am an eggetarian. So normally on trips to Latin American countries, I tend to lose weight due to – well – starvation. But Venezuela was a whole new experience. I ate traditional Venezuelan Arepas and Chapakas, I devoured yummy Lebanese food, I had a very aesthetically presented sandwich, I ate my filling of eggplant lasagna…. I’m sure if I had stayed longer, I would have had the fortune of eating at least 4-5 different cusines. That is the variety that makes Venezuela wonderful.

Caracas is a happening place, but it is something to be experienced rather than seen or photographed. So my host decided a couple of must see places near Caracas and arranged for me to be taken to these.
Imagine having a taste of Europe in South America. That’s what Colonia Tovar was. A colony set up by Germans in 1840, it is an idyllic tourist spot – has the freshest strawberries and hence the most delicious strawberry and cream that I have ever tasted. However to get to Colonia Tovar you have to go through a couple of pretty run down areas on the outskirts of Caracas. The two worlds that you see in the span of an hour are so much of a contradiction, that you wouldn’t believe that you are in the same country, much less the same city.

And then there is the magnificence called El Avila. Caracas is a valley and Aliva is the imposing guard that holds vigil on the city. There is a ropeway which takes you to the top of El Avila. On a clear day you can see expanse of the Caribbean sea on one side and the whole city of Caracas spread out on the other. I was not lucky enough so see this. But the journey to the top of El Avila was like a journey on the clouds.. literally. It was still a breathtaking site when one moment you could see hotel Humboldt getting covered in clouds and the next moment it is totally engulfed – its as if it were never there. The hot chocolate that you get up there is lip smacking (they actually make it in front of you – not from a machine and Venezuela is famous for its Chocolates).

But one of your more long lasting memories of Venezuela would not be a pleasant one. The government of the country has imposed a forex restriction which is cause for a thriving parallel market where you can get a much better rate for Dollars as compared to the official rates. The market is very much like the Indian stock Market – some idiot sitting in the capital says something and the market falls or rises on sentiment. Then there are talks of efforts which are underway to make the country a socialist economy. For a country like Venezuela which is so diverse and so free this would be like a death knell. For the sake of the treasure that Venezuela is for the world, I hope to God that this doesn’t happen.

All in all Venezuela is a delightful smorgasbord of experiences that will leave you gasping for more!!