Mahabharatha

I was on my way from Bangalore on 26th Nov. Gosh! It felt like a weekend and it was just Wednesday… two more days to go for the weekend. How I wish I had a break, I was in no mood to go to office the next day. Little did I know that God actually heard this prayer.. of all the things that I had ever asked – a Merc, a villa in South of France, an Oscar – of all these humble things the only prayer he heard was that I wanted a break on Thursday. And how did he go about granting me this wish. He killed around 200 people. Is this called two birds with one stone? I get my break and he gets to control the population by a bit. I know I’m sounding morbid. But, I don’t know how else to feel. I am numb.

Like all previous visits to Mumbai, I thought nostalgia would creep up on me and leave me teary eyed. But it was not to be. I looked out of the window when the flight was landing. The sight of Mumbai all decked up with diamonds, or so it seems from up above, didn’t make my heart soar. When I got down and walked out, the once familiar sights, sounds and smells didn’t overwhelm me with the sense of familiarity. Maybe my umbilical chord with the city was being severed – a bit at a time – all thanks to my resettlement to Bangalore. But then it happened - the 60 hour siege on the city by a few thugs who brought this mighty city to its knees. And all those feelings about the city surged back into my heart. Once a Mumbaikar, always a Mumbaikar – what a cliché!!

Glued to the TV, gobbling up every detail that was being spewed out by the reporters, at times wishing they would give updated information, at times cursing them for giving out details of movements of our security forces, at times hating the Muslims for being such a brainless and ruthless community, at times being sure that the Bajrang Dal, BJP, RSS and other forces were the brains behind this and indeed all such terror attacks on the country, at times hoping that all the hostages come out safely, at times reasoning that if it meant sacrificing a few civilian lives to kill the terrorists, then so be it, at times feeling genuine sorrow for the captives at Taj and Oberoi, at times envy raising its ugly head that they could afford to be there and I cannot, at times thinking of the terrible blow this event had caused to the image of the city in eyes of the international community, at times beaming with pride that we had a NSG that was touted as being brave and couteous at the same time – presenting a perfect image of India, at times mourning the death of the dead police offiers and NSG personnel, at times thinking these are the very people responsible for this calamity because of their complacency and indifference, at times feeling deeply saddened by the state of the foreigners who were caught in the mess, at time cursing those very foreigners for being the harbingers of death for so many Indians – civilians and otherwise, at times pitying the government and the decision takers for the immense pressure they were under and the ultimate guilt they would have to carry to their death bed of blood of innocents on their hands, at times wishing I had enough money to put a contract out to kill these very politicians for raping my country over and over again. I was so unsure of what I felt, what I should feel, what is appropriate for the occasion.

There was just one thing of which I was sure, that nothing was going to change. Nothing has changed since 1992-93 – I am not very optimistic about any change in future either. The country is made up of millions like me who pay lip service but lack the courage, will and conviction to actually do something about it. India is indeed very unfortunate to have such impotent children. It’s as if she was Gandhari, mother of Kauravas – blindfolded and mother to a 100 children who are destined to die an ignoble death from the time they were born.

Indian or What????

It's been sometime since I have written. Yesterday I read something in Sunday Times which prompted me to think. It's been a long time since that paper has made me think... its almost a joke now a days to read the papers. Anyway, let me not digress from the point. The article was about Obama (obviously as he is the current hot topic). It said how Obama, who is part black, part white, part Indonesian, part African, part American, stood tall to become the ultimate icon of America - apparently he is the penultimate American!

This was followed with tales of whether regionalism is relevant in the Indian society or not. Various people gave their views. I being one who rarely pays any heed to what others have to say, have my own opinion about the issue. I always thought the best thing about India was its diversity (translation - regionalism). Don't we brag about it all the time... unity in diveristy!!

It's the fact that we belong to different states, speak different languages, dress differently, have varied food habits, pray to different Gods, have innumerable customs and traditions which are poles apart from each other... its this that makes us uniquely Indian. But do we actually deserve this tag??? Most of us don't know our native languages, customs and traditions. I can thankfully speak Malayalam as my parents advocated the language at home. But I can hardly read and write to save my skin. I am clumsy when it comes to wearing a mund and veshti (our traditional garb), I know the names of all the traditional dishes, but can't cook any, and I have never made a pookalam for Onam or set up a Vishukani. I don't know the history of Kerala. Can I still call myself a Malayalee? I was born and brought up in Mumbai, Maharashtra. I can speak, read and write Marathi. I relish most Maharashtrian dishes (though the state of cooking these remains the same as mentioned above) and have partaken in more Ganeshotsav celebrations than Onam celebrations. So does that make me a Maharashtrian? Thankfully both my parents are Malayalees and both belong to the same community Nairs. So I think I can still officially call myself a Nair. What of those poor souls who have mixed parents say a Punjabi mother and a Maharashtrian father or cross religious parents say a Tamil Brahmin mother and a Manglorean Christian father? Whats to become of these kids? What language do they learn? What customs do they follow? As far as I know, they speak English and Hindi and they celebrate all festivals which are declared to be National holidays by the Indian Government. They celebrate Diwali, Christmas and Id with the same fervour.. they chillax... they have no clue what to do for either of the festivals. They call friends and wish them and if they still have a pure bred regional friend whose parents practice some sort of regionalism, they gather and hog the delicacies and then leave after thanking"aunty" for the lovely time they had. They are none the wiser after the event.

So in this scenario, should I say that if I get angry when someone says something detrimental about India, like Hayden callling India a third world country, or feel proud when I see an Indian acheive something, like Anand becoming the Grand Master or have goosebumps evverytime I hear Jana Gana Mana, I continue to be an Indian? An Indian without an individual identity? Is it necessary to retain that individualism? I think yes, when I have a child, I would still want him or her to know Malayalam, I would want them to be as big a fan for Avial and Sambar as they may be for French fries and burgers, I would want them to celebrate Onam and Vishu with the same enthusiasm that they show towards Valentine's day and I want them to be as comfortable in a mund and veshti as they would be in a pair of Levis, I want them to be as proud of being a Malayalee as being an Indian, but I would never want them to be a Malayalee first and an Indian later. I would never want them to put their regionalism before Nationalism. But them wheree do I draw the line? I somehow seem to have got it right. I am a proud Malayalee and an even prouder Indian. Maybe it's all in the upbringing.

7 / 11 - A View from two worlds

I have been seeing a lot of movies now a days. Surprisingly all hindi and even more surprisingly most of them good and thought provoking. Bollywood does have the occassional Ardhasatya, Krantiveer, Rang De Basanti etc. to try and pry open the eyes of our dead souls to what is happening around us. They did - momentarily. None of the thoughts depicted in these movies are revolutionary. These are movies made by normal people who live in the same society as us and see and face the same problems as us. These are people who may be better privileged than some of us with regards to money power, but they have the same fears as the common man. The fear of the omniprevalent uncertainity of life.....
I saw Mumbai Meri Jaan and A Wednesday on consequent weekends. There could not have been two equally brilliant movies based on the same event with such views which were poles apart.

Mumbai Meri Jaan tells the tale of 5 distinct individuals who were in Mumbai when the 7 /11 train blasts took place and how they come to terms with the aftermath of the shock. How they pick up the pieces left over from the debris of the blast and get used to moulding their lives around the attack. It will remain as an indelible memory in all their minds but they have moved on in life.... You easily identify with all the characters in the movie, your heart goes out to them and you feel a personal triumph when they get over the terror and return to normalcy.

A Wednesday!, on the other hand deals with the same theme and tells us that we have got so used to being attacked and battered and bruised and have become such great friends with the fear of being killed every time we step out of our homes, that we have become incapable of any reaction. A stupid common man, that's what the character played by Naseer calls himself. A stupid common man, who is so busy in trying to run his life that he has no time or resource to try and protect it. We have become really adept in picking up the pieces as shown in Mumbai Meri Jaan and getting on with life. As he says, there is quite a bit of house cleaning to be done in India and we have got used to waiting for someone else (preferably the "authorities") to come and deal with it. As the old cliche goes, if you want to clean the gutter, you will get dirty in the process. We as a generation have evolved so much that the prospect of even a stain in our pure white lives is a blasphemous thought. You will sympathize & empathize with Naseer's character who is aptly nameless thoughout the movie, only referred to as the common man. You will understand and agree with his emotions. It's just his action that you cannot digest. Not because they were morally wrong. Just because we do not have the courage or the conviction take the same drastic steps. He might have been just another character in Mumbai Meri Jaan who chose to react differently from the other 5 characters....

Don't we all think that keeping politicians and terrorists locked up in jails for decades and feeding them with our hard earned tax money is total injustice? When each and every one of the 1 billion odd of us know who were behind each of the major communal / terrorist riots and economic scandals which have shaken the very foundations of the Indian way of life, why don't we do anything about it?
Have we all become like whores? No woman gets into this particular profession willingly, but once in, they beecome resigned to their "fate" and move on with life, maybe even beginning to enjoy their way of life....Sound similar to our lives... your and mine??

The Indian Writer

I wrote a couple of months back in disgust after having read "3 mistakes of my life", about the appaling condition of Indian literature. I would like to retract my statements. I have since then read some Indian authors and am pleasantly surprised. Though its only the soft porn written by Ms. De and Mr. Singh which gets publicity, I have in the past 2 months read a few really good Indian books.

It's a revelation to read Indian authors and identify not just with emotions as you can in foreign novels, but with situations and places also.

I have read a couple of translations - both in their own rights were path breakers in the original language that they were written in. It should come as no surprise that one is a Bengali book called Chowringhee by Sankar (1962) and the other is a Malayalam book called Nallukettu by M.T (1958). These book date back nearly half a century and there is so much within them that still rings so true. It ought to be a source of shame for us that the appaling conditions of the demise of the Nair society that M.T describes so lucidly in Nallukettu and the underbelly of Calcutta that Sankar describes so vividly in Chowringhee still wouldn't require to be changed much if these books had to be re-written in today's day and age.

I've read a couple of stark commentaries on human nature and especially the Indian variant. Again these books Guide by R.K Narayan (1958) and The White Tiger by Aravind Adiga (2008), being 50 years apart mirror the Indian mentality that we are so seeped in. You start identifying with the aimlessness of Raju, who whiles away his life and time doing literally nothing noteworthy and sympathising with Balram, who kills his master and runs away with his money to start a business. These are characters that you know in your life, characters whose actions you can justify because you know the "system".

I also read "Ladies Coupe" by Anita Nair, where there were at least two characters whom I know personally and was disturbed by the accuracy with which sentiments of these lives, which are so typically Indian, were etched by the author.

Though I was disappointed with God of smalll things and have not yet been able to get through "A tale of two lives" by Vikram Seth and "The Great Indian Novel" by Tharoor, I have new found interest and confidence in Indian writers.

An interview with MYSELF

I have not been seen or heard from for quite some time now. So I decided to catch up with myself and probe a bit into what's new in my life.

Q: So, What's up? How and where have you been?
Me: All's well.. all is in a well (as a friend once used to say). I have been steadily grounded to Bangalore. It's been nearly 2 months since I've left this place. It is starting to grow on me now, I think.

Q: What do you mean it's starting to grow on you?
Me: You know, when you have been in a particular situation for a long time, you kinda get used to it. It becomes a part of your life, even the inconveniences. You remember Mohan Bharghav telling the villagers in Swadesh, that it's as if they have got so used to not having electricity that they have started to enjoy it. It's the same with me. Being totally helpless when it comes to going some place on my own, being dependant on my husband to chauffer me around, feeling obliged when a auto driver charges you by the meter, spending Rs.300/- to see Bollywood trash and another Rs.100/- for soggy popcorn, paying Rs.55/- for semi-decent pav-bhaji and pretending to relish it, buying drinking water, thanking the not so oft seen maid for coming once in a while and exercising my broom.....the list is kind of endless, but I'm getting used to all of it.

Q: Is there nothing good about Bangalore?
Me: I'm sure there is plenty good about Bangalore, but I have such a mental block against the place that I just don't seem to be able to see any.

Q: Still, give it a try.
Me: Ok, lemme see. I think it is a place which offers fairly good work life balance. The pace of life here is not as bad as in Mumbai. So, I manage to reach home by 7 every evening and we as a couple have dinner by 8. Thats a rarity in Mumbai. Maybe, due to the proximity and abundance of all the malls around, i have been watching a lot of movies, again something that I didn't do too mcuh in Mumbai. In Mumbai, weeekends were to laze around at home. In Bangalore, where electricity takes a hike for 8 hours every weekend (I'm sure the mall owners association in Bangalore have a tie up with the Electricity Board for ensuring zero power supply at weekends, so that business at malls boom), there is no point in staying home. Also, I have been reading a lot lately. Don't know if Bangalore has anything to do with it, but lets give it the benefit of doubt, shall we?

Q: So things are not all in the well, right?
Me: Ha ha... the way this place gets flooded after a mild shower, I would say things are always in the well, drain, lake, river... or whatever.

Q: Hows work?
Me: Ok, so far so good. Lots of time on the bench, why do you think I'm giving this intereview! Even work wise (that is when I do have some work), its ok. The people in my office here are pretty chilled out and things are going kind of ok. Have some good colleagues, intelligent conversations, lots of shopping during office hours.. so I'm not complaining.

Q: Any changes in you as a person after marriage or after shifting to Bangalore or as a result of your new job?
Me: I think marriage makes you more responsible. If you have had a life like mine with no worries, no responsibilities, no ailing mother to look after, no younger siblings to educate, no nothing, you would suddenly wake up one day to find that the life of this guy whom you barely knew is now intricately linked to yours. I guess no one spells out your responsibilities, you just learn them. Its kind of nice sometimes to care for and to be care for by someone who did not have a direct stake in your existance on planet Earth.

Q: How's health?
Me: Awful. Just awful. Own cooked food, everyday lunching outside and total lack of any form of effective exercise - it's all showing on me.

Q: So what are your plans for rehab?
Me: You make it sound like I'm some kind of addict! Yeah, maybe you are right. I'm an addict of lazziness. Need to do something about it. Maybe when Unni is gone, Not that way silly, wipe of that shocked look off your face!, When Unni is gone to Finland and I've more time on my hands, then will plan out some schedule.

Q: And what about you Oracle thing? Its been almost a year since you blew a bomb on a 3 week course?
Me: Man, you do know how to hit where it hurts the most!! I w'd 've loved to reserve my comments on that one, but just because its you, I'm baring my heart out. I've lost focus totally. It''s been a hellof a year - lots happpening - new man, new job, new place...I'm not justifying anything..Need to regain my focus.. Once Unni goes...

Q: You seem to be hellbent on getting Unni out of the picture! You sure you are not using him as a crutch too mask your inabilities and failures.
Me: You have an agenda against me or something? Why are you being so unpleasant??

Q: Gimme a break. I'm only trying to get to the truth. You don't want to accept it, we can move on..
Me: No..No wait. I'm not a coward. Yes, to an extent you are right. I'm blaming circumstances for all that happening wrong in life now, which is quite contrary to my belief of "One is solely responsible for the mess one is". Its a self-effacing attempt to mask my inability to cope well with situations. Will have to pull myself together.

Q: You have quite an ego.
Me: Me and Ego.. ha ha ha.... Ok...I do. I try not to let it get better of me most of the time.. but I guess I haven't acheived Nirvana yet.

Q: So now that you have told me all this, how do you feel?
Me: I've been talking to myself for the last 2 hours, how do you think I feel?? I am reinforcing the public sentiment that I must have lost it.

Q: You believe that?
Me: You tell me....

The 3 mistakes of my life

No, this is not a book review of Chetan Bhagat's latest. It is also not about the three mistakes of my life. But, it is certainly about the book.

As a common rule, a book is always better than its screen adaptations. Let me assure you that in this case, it will not be true. Chetan Bhagat has specialised the art of writing movies. When I read The 3 mistakes - I had Akshay Kumar, Tushar Kapoor and Vivek Oberoi playing the main characters and Vidya Balan playing the love interest. I even had all the supporting characters figured out. Some scenes were right out of a Karan Johar or Yash Chopra movie.

Mr.Bhagat is a pretty intelligent guy - being all IIM, IIT and all that. He has caught the pulse of the youth of urban India. Two days after his book was released, it was sold out. He claimes that he wants not to be the most admired writer in India but the most loved writer in India. He will certainly have that love for some time. The longevity of that love is what I seriously doubt. The youth today needs to be challenged. If we wanted a 3-hour entertainment with a box of popcorn, we would prefer to watch a Bollywood flick, not read a book. In a era where the urban youth is exposed to Jean Sasson, Kaled Hosseini, Paulo Coelho, John Grisham, Dan Brown and are being inspired by an earlier generation to read the Archer, Frosyth, Sheldon, Hailey, Cook etc. it is really doubtful how long would Mr. Bhagat be able to hold on to the imagination and interest of the youth.

The story of his book was interesting and it was well told, but it absolutely lacks any kind of depth. It can be compared to something like a Mills and Boons novel, a light flick and nothing more than that. Or maybe that is what Mr. Bhagat was aiming for and I just expected too much from him.

I had read "To kill a Mockingbird" and "Mayada" before reading The 3 mistakes. Needless to say I was extremely disappointed. Here were two books written almost 50 years apart and still had the same capacity to pull at one's heart and then there was the Indian book which also broached good thought provoking subjects like communal violence, lack of entreprenural support in India and the like, but in such a unthought provoking manner.

It is true that traditionally Indian fiction writers have been utterly unreadable. Its just been
Shobha De and Khushwant Singh and between the two of them, they could operate a xxx site. Other writers like Jhumpa Lahiri and Divakaruni are Indians who have been living for long years outside India. I haven't read either of them and hence can't comment on the style and quality of their writing. But, other than these far and between writers, India has a dearth of good fiction writers - writers who can depict our politics, our every day lives, our romances, our hamlets. Writers who can bring suspense and excitement into our lives.

Come on people, we are a country which produced the most truthful, powerful, psychologically valid and enduring book in the history of mankind - we produced "Mahabharatha". Now, as a country we are hell bent on calling a beautiful work of art, albeing fiction (purely my views) a religious text. The characters, their dreams, their hopes, their passions, their ideas, their actions, their quarrels, their enimities, their jealousies - all of them transcend generations and still remain the same. Except for scifi, it had everything. It was the 1st and last great Indian novel. Its been over 5000 years and we still haven't been able to match it.

Shame on us............

I had an opportunity to visit Dallas recently on business. I was there for a week, including a Sunday. I decided to check out downtown Dallas. It wasn't too great. Just a lot of buildings and not much else. Nobody on the streets to ask directions from, an isolated McD's here or there and a lot of asphalt... thats what it was. It is the 1st time I have ventured out to explore a city which has disappointed me so much. Anyway, there was one sight that i couldn't miss in Dallas. The Sixth Floor Museum. The fateful building from which Oswald alledgedly shot JFK. I had made up my mind to see it and was there promptly at 10:00 AM - when the museum opens.

Now, I was surprised to see the number of visitors there, more so because of the number of kids that were accompanying their parents. The museum is obviously on the 6th floor. It is an attempt to recreate the life and times of JFK. Lots of pictures, videos and an audio commentary of the events that marked that era. It was a nostalgic hour and a half. There were countless occassions when tears nearly welled up in my eyes. I was surprised. What prompted me to shed tears of mourning for a man who was the president of one of the most hipocritical nations on the planet and that too someone who has been dead for 45 years.

What did I know about JFK? Except for his famous saying "Ask not your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country" and his hush hush affair with Marilyn Monroe, not much, I'm afraid. I remember my dad telling me that he remembered the death of Pandit Nehru. The tiny village that he belonged to came to a stand still when that happened. Even young boys who were left early from school, didn't play football - it was as if even they realised the enormity of what had happened. The world had one less ray of hope.

Seeing the videos of the day when JFK was killed, Isaw the same thing in the eyes of Americans. Nothing would ever be the same again.

Everytime a Gandhiji, a JFK, a Mother Teresa leave us, they leave a gap in the fibre of human site that we as an entire generation are incapable of bridging, yet another ray of hope extinguishing and spreading darkness over our future. These were not extraordinary people. These were ordinary human beings, with as many natural fallacies as you and me. It was just their efforts in rising above those fallacies and in doing so helping others to do the same that made them who they are. We as a generation, a species need to come together and fulfil the one dream that these few souls from different parts of the world saw for us, for our future, for our children - the dream of peace, co-existence and happiness.

Mumbai - meri jaan

Around the world in 80 days - nice movie - aptly applies to my current lifestyle. I have been in Mexico, Chicago, Poland and Germany (albeit in transit) in the last 60 days. I have new best friends, my VIP suitcases, which I'm literally living out of now a days. After all these travels, yesterday I landed back home. I live in Bangalore , but for me, Mumbai is home and will continue to be so, as long as I can imagine.

It is a city of extreme extremes, contrasting contrasts!

There is really nothing that is pleasing or aesthic or polite or genteel about Mumbai. It is one of the most crowded cities in the world. It stinks, people are always in a rush making them naturally rude, is the headquarters of D-company, Chotta Rajan gang and numerous underworld business organizations which are the main source of inspiration for aamchi Bollywood, especially Mr.Ram Gopal Verma. But there is no place I would rather be than Mumbai. I really like Europe and in my last trip to that continent, I even liked Poland - one of the main reminencent centres of Nazi terrorism. I thought I was finally getting over Mumbai.

I landed in Mumbai, yesterday morning. Air India landed in the international airport and we had a free 15 minute bus ride from there to the domestic airport which we Mumbaiittes instist on calling Chhatrapati Shivaji International airport. I was in a rush to reach my client's office and didn't have any time to be nostalgic. However on my trip back home in the evening, I listened to the 3 radio stations in tandem, taking in the rubbish churned out by the RJ's as if they were the most sensible pieces of dialogue I've ever heard. It was so comforting to hear a continuous blast of DhinChak muzik...I sat back in my auto and relaxed that I didn't have to fight over the fare. I sat back and enjoyed the traffic knowing that there is some order in the chaos that is Mumbai. When I was nearing Ghatkopar market (for the uninitiated - a middleclass suburb in Eastern Mumbai), I started revelling in the enticing smells of khau galli, the sights of fresh vegetables other than cabbage and beans (which is all that I keep getting in Bangalore), the colourful display of the latest Indian fashions and fake international designs, people randomly crossing roads, pandu hawaldars (traffic cops) who in comparison to their counterparts in Bangalore strike terror in the heart of Mumbai ever speeding motorists.....the essence of Mumbai. I could feel tears waiting to jump out of my eyes - a K3G tune in the background and I could have recreated the 2005 Mumbai floods.
I realised Mumbai is me...I could be anywhere in the world, I could be away from Mumbai for years but I could never be anything but a Mumbaiitte.... a tough from outside, struggling to survive Mumbaiitte.

Of Mumbai and Bhaiyyas

What prompted me to write this piece was a very innocuous remark by a colleague in recent times. We were discussing about tourism in India. I thought that the biggest impediments in Indian tourism were the difficulty in getting along and the cheating mentality of the people. Don’t raise your arms in indignation and cry that I’m not a true Indian citizen. What I say is true and you know it from the bottom of your heart. When I as an Indian went to Delhi for the 1st time, my parents were worried to death, because of the reputation that our national capital has earned as being the most unsafe place in India for women. And then there is the famous “Dilli ka thug” image, which even Delhiites will uphold. As a Mumbaiite, I would be shit scared of any foreigner (Indian or otherwise) roaming around in the streets of Mumbai. Maybe of the 10 people they meet, 6 are helpful, but the remaining 4 do damage of gargantuan proportions to the image of the city.

Now the reason why I am blabbering about all this has some link with the tactics that Mr. Raj Thackery used recently to gain foothold in Maharashtra politics. The argument was that North Indians, specifically Biharis are the bane of Mumbai.

My colleague was referring to the rape of a foreign woman in Goa. In recent times, the headlines have been inundated with cases of molestation and rape of foreign national tourists in Goa. The hitherto peaceful place – the one Indian tourist spot that is actually world famous for its beaches and churches – is now no longer considered safe. And my colleage remarked “Saale Bihari pahunche honge wahan bhi” (Those bloody Bihari’s have not spared Goa also). A couple of days back I read about a foreigner being molested by a taxi driver in Mumbai. The taxi driver was a Muslim, but my 1st thoughts were a mirror image of what my colleague said. I was surprised at myself.

I was too young to recollect the incident accurately, but Raj’s his uncle had tried the same tactics a decade or so back and it had back fired. But at that time, the focus was South Indians. With the exception of a certain group of Tamilians (who are kind of world famous for their pan spitting and bath only when you start stinking attitude), all south Indians are generally peaceful creatures with a reasonable civic sense and an above average standard of education. All the offices in Mumbai, all the business have south Indians as a majority workforce. Alienating south Indians would have meant a major blow to the economy of the city and so we still live in Mumbai and I consider myself a Mumbaiite first and then a south Indian, so deep is the sense of belonging to that city instilled in me.

But Bhaiyyas (UPites and Biharis) – they are normally poorly educated, they have nearly no civic sense and when it comes to the absence of neatness, the quality just transcends communal boundaries – a Brahmin and a Muslim from UP are equally efficient in dirtying the place they live in. They are hard working folk. Majority of the life line services of Mumbai – taxis, vegetable hawkers, daily wage workers – most of them are Bhaiyyas. But there is also another quality of theirs that unites them above their religious differences. One member of the family comes to a big city, hoping to eke out a meager living. He finds a city like Mumbai to be an ideal city – he can live here better than in his village. He gets his family, he in addition gets his brothers and friends and very soon you have his entire community living in some corner of Mumbai. It then becomes his private space and there is soon a settlement there consisting solely of his acquaintances. That is how a slum is typically created in a city like Mumbai. Naturally these slums are not equipped for the population boost that is to follow and in due course of time, the resources of the city start straining.

Now, having said that – do we have the right to decide who can live where in India? I thought we were on a mission to unite the country. Isn’t that what India is famous for – Unity in Diversity? Isn’t that one of the things that made us proud of Mumbai? Didn’t we pride ourselves on the fact that we celebrate all festivals that India has to offer because we have a representation of the whole of India in Mumbai? So can’t we accept the fact that India has neat people and not so neat people, people with a high sense of morality and a not so high sense of morality, people with a high level of tolerance and with a not so high level of tolerance? India is made up of all these variety of people, but aren’t we still proud of India? What is a country but what its people make it out to be. And whether we like it or not, Bhaiyyas make up a huge proportion of our population. So how can we boycott a particular creed of the community just because we don’t like them? Did we forget that this great country of ours is a Democracy and our Constitution protects every ones right to live – I don’t recollect it saying anything about living in a state or a part of the country – it talks about the country as a whole? So when did we decided to re-write the Constitution to suit our needs and conveniences? I do agree that from a city planning and management perspective, not just Mumbai, the whole of the country is fighting to extend amenities to the ever growing population – but do we just decided to kill of a huge part of the population that we consider an inconvenience because we can’t plan well? Wouldn’t that make us akin to Hitler’s Germany? Is that what we are aiming for? Maybe we are… maybe I’m just left behind in this race to make India a superpower, maybe I misunderstood or over estimated the power of our centuries old culture and traditions. What use are those to us anymore? We have to be a superpower – even if it involves selling our souls to the devil………

A Temple of Thoughts

Yesterday evening, I went to the temple. I have been on a month long trip abroad and it felt good to be back among the familiar smells and sights of the Ayyappa temple that I have taken to frequenting every Saturday, courtesy my husband. I am a not a particularly religious person, meaning I don’t go to temples often, I don’t perform pujas – heck! I even forget to light the lamp in front of the pictures of Gods that we have at home. I am far from applying sandalwood paste and vermillion to my forehead in religious reverence. But it felt good to be back.

I thanked the statue of Ayyappa for bringing me back safely, I told the small statuette of the Bhagawati, that she looked good and I was really happy to see Ganesha again. I told him “hi”, I asked about his well being, I did my usual 10 crosslegged salutations in front of him and then I was done. My temple ritual was over. I stood to a side allowing other, more reverent devotees to see the Gods.

While standing there I thought that this is like going to meet a friend. I recollected the joy I felt when I saw my dear friend in Chicago after almost 3 months. The feeling was almost the same. Before, she goads herself to believing that I am equating her to God (she anyway believes that she is God personified), let me clarify that it is the other way around. For me visiting the temple is not a religious activity, something you have to do to stay in the good books of God. It is like visiting a friend. Sometimes I have private conversations with God – I tell God about what’s bugging me, what went wrong and what went right. I thank God for the good things and don’t forget to blame him for the mis-happenings in my life. And then I say Bye & a C Ya without a promise as to when I we will meet again. I don’t expect God to do anything after I rave and rant to him / her. I just have a load off my chest when I get it all out. Now it no longer is my problem, its for God to worry about it.

It’s not as if I don’t think about God when I’m not at the temple. I think about God as often as I think about my parents and my friends. The only difference being that God being a resident of a different level, is not privy to modern communication systems and does not possess a telephone. That kind of makes a two way communication difficult but I communicate to God through my thoughts – it’s the purest form of communications, simply because we are not disciplined creatures, we don’t have control over our thoughts, we think all kind of bull shit and God is a party to all those musings – there is no secrecy and no deceit – it’s all pure and it’s all true.

A few films I Love

I seem to have a problem watching movies when I’m in India. The largest number of movies I saw in recent times is when I was in Amsterdam, I used to invariably watch 2 movies in a month. I guess it was the process of watching a movie which was totally hassle free – no black tickets, no long lines, no noisy crowds… it was almost like watching the movie in the comforts of home…
Anyway, I am an avid Bollywood fan… i.e. I reserve the right to poke my nose into the private affairs of the stars, refer to superstars like SRK, AB as Sharukh, Amit etc as if they were my next door neighbours, look down on people from other parts of India as I shared the same Mumbai with the stars. I think it comes down to that, somehow everyone from Mumbai thinks that Bollywood is almost their fathers business…
Anyway, this year I saw a few really good movies and movies which makes one laugh, cry, want to fall in love, raises hope and faith and something that Bollywood movies rarely do – makes you think..
So here goes my list of my favourite Bollywood movies:

Jodha Akbar
My latest favourite..what a grandiose movie… worth the time that it took to make it and so well made that you actually end up forgiving Ash for all that she and her in laws made up at the time of her wedding… the film is actually the best period film maybe after Mughal-e-Azam. I’m not comparing the two.. can’t do so as I have not seen Mughal-e-Azam…But for once the war sequences have authenticity, the king and the queen really look drop dead gorgeous… its not a love story… there is a love story somewhere in the back ground… I saw an online pirated version of the movie… so maybe I didn’t see the full version… but I intend to see it on the big screen once I’m back in India. It’s the story of a king and how he ruled and conqured…I am not a historian and am not here to examine the veracity of the facts in the movie… as a movie it is great… if anyone takes offence to it… like certain Hindu communities are doing, stop being so over sensitive to everything and crying a victim evertime something happens… suck it up and get on with life… its just a movie.

Chak De India
I saw this movie in Ipswich in the living room of a VP Finance of a division I had gone to audit, along with a bunch of guys who were more intent on seeing the regional Rugby league matches. It was SRK all the way, but there were many things in the movie that made you sit up and take notice. For example the scene where the girls from NE were told welcome to India, which truly showcases the sentiments of the majority of India even today – NewsFlash – Assam, Mizoram and all those north eastern states that you didn’t know existed – you know what – they are a part of India… those “chinkys” – they are as much Indians as you and me… Above the usual and obvious theme of the movie i.e. one India above regionalism and how team spirit leads to victory.. there were more subtle story lines.. women in Indian sports, cricket over all other forms of sports, how women still think that if you want to get ahead in todays world – all she has to do is remove her shirt and more importantly, women today are ready to do even that – despite of where we boast education has brought us today…

Corporate, Page 3 and Traffic signal
This guy, Madhur Bhandarkar, has a knack for churning out movies which are so realistic that it scares us..We who go to the movies to see SRK in a sweater romancing a 20 year old bimbo and to see Sallu bhai drop his shirt at the drop of a hat… for us to see our daily lives flashed across screens for all to see is terrifying… someone actually knows what filth and grime the “common man” face everyday, trudge through everyday and moreover we pride ourselves in mastering the back stabbing techniques to survive in the corporate world. Who could have though that someone like Bips was actually capable of acting? The bitter realities behind our daily dose of entertainment and the eternal truth in todays world “there are no permanent friends and enemies….” The nuances of daily life in Mumbai…somehow all that we see everyday in our lives and things we have taken for granted, taken to be a part of our being…. It is amazing how a person can put it down on a canvas so honestly and kind of open your eyes to the only enlightening truth “Life ain’t fair, baby!”

Omkara
Except for the “bidi jala” song which even Javed Akhtar is ga-ga about, I loved the movie. The movie is fantastic not because of the story, the climax – it is amazing because of the performances. No-one expects Saif to actually act – he acts and its again a fresh breath of air.. it’s a movie with a story which has been told a million times before – but with a twist – in all the previous versions, there was a happy ending… never before has a Bollywood movie been made where melancholy and tragedy has been potrayed so intensely and that too without having the name Devdas anywhere in the background. The intrigue, the politics, the whiff of romance and the shroud of suspicion…all come together to give a potent dose of excellent worldclass cinema.

Cheeni Kum
What a remarkable change from the movie just spoken about.. so British, so modern, so funny, so ”in your face”…Even the satyagraha scene by Paresh – which my husband was a wee bit over the top… even that was rib tickling funny… and again – the crux of the movie was that it made you think… why do Indians as a people stop living for themselves after a certain age… It is written a certain someplace (I have no idea where) that you spend the 1st 20 years of your life doing one particular set of activities, the next 20 doing another set of activities … all I know is that at the end of it all you are supposed to take “Sanyas”… give up all worldly possessions and pleasures…Why??? Why do u have to retire from work and life? Anyway, the Indian way of life currently is such that you only end up working for the whole of your life.. so whats wrong in living it up when you finally can – when you have the time and the money and no practical responsibilities. Amitabh is a good actor and he reiterates that in Cheeni Kum, but the show belons to Tabu and only Tabu.. its really hard to believe that a 30 something year only woman is still getting good roles in our old Bollywood where women used to come with an expiry age of 18..

Jab we met
Watching this movie was like reading the novel “Love story” – it was so simple – it was so beautiful. I have always been a big fan of the 1st family of Indian cinema – contrary to common belief – it is not the Bachhan family – it is the Kapoor khandan – starting from Prithviraj Kapoor (1931) to Ranbir Kapoor (2007) – that’s 7 decades of filmdom. I have digressed, but there is a reason, my love for the Kapoor stopped with the guys – I was never fond of Karishma or Kareena. But I guess with genes as strong as those, talent just can’t be held back..it just oozes through Kareena’s potryal of Geet. The music is awesome and the fact that the whole world knew that the Shahid-Kareena romance was ending when the film was being shot, made the performance even more commendable… they kids are really good actors… they almost make you fall in love with the concept of Love…

Namastey London
Akshay Kumar and Katrina – not two people I have too much regard for in the acting world, but the movie was really good. I think I am a sucker for romantic comedies and honestly there are not too many of them – at least good ones – in Bollywood…This was a good one.. a feel good movie, the parts in Punjab are actually funny and not the usual slapstick that Bollywood is used to and even with Katrina in the movie – it is a clean movie. Enjoyed it thoroughly.

Ta ra rum pum
Don’t know if the movie was a box office success. I am not a supporter of the popular belief that Rani is an outstanding actress. But the thing about the movie that I actually liked is that it does say something about the life style of my generation and in its own Bollywoody way has tried to send across a sensible message – a rarity in Bollywood.. the music was good, it is shot for the majority part in New York and I love NY… never having been actually there… Don’t know why I actually liked the movie – maybe because I was stuck in a long flight to London with nothing else to do!

Tare zameen par
It’s dfifficult to like an Aamir Khan movie, especially when you dislike him with the intensity that I do. But the fact that I actually think the movie was one of the most thoughtful movies ever made since the early 1950’s in India actually means that the movie is really good. The young actor – he walks away with the glory. The theme was over hyped, as is everything in Bollywood, but the humane treatement of the character by the young fellow, puts the likes of AB, SRK and Aamir himself to shame… that’s a class actor. And maybe quite un noticed, but the actor who played the mother was really good and brought a lot of credibility to an almost clinical movie. Good movie – really long and I didn’t like the songs too much… but the movie is good – no denying that.

Rang de basanti
Awsome movie… Clearly one of the best movies made in India. Thought provoking, excellent directorial tactics and for once a good ending – not a happy one…one that really brings down the message – you may be the hero of the movie – but if you do the crime, you do the time!
Bride and prejudice
It was more Bollywood than Bollywood itself. Goa, Golden Temple, Punjabi weddings, Garba and the London Eye… all packed into one… deadly combination. I loved the movie, simply becase I have seen it something like 7-8 times and still don’t get fed up of it. A real entertainer.

Iqbal
I think this is the only movie about the game that drives the whole nation crazy that has actually succeeded. Naseer proves why is considered the best actor in India and one of the best in the world. A simple tale, told simply – a tale of courage, perseverance…a tale that tells you that if you dream and work hard enough, your dreams do come true… Never a good idea to see a Madhur Bhandarkar movie after watching something like this… kind of kills the mood… but the underdog succeeding is always a story worth telling and if well told it becomes a movie worth watching.

Parineeta
I watched this movie when I was in Coimbaitore and till the climax scene was not sure I was seeing a Bollywood movie. I had never seen such a restrained movie where everything was just perfect – the dialogues, the emotion, the romance, the genre of old time Calcutta, the performances by the protagonists.. everything was so measured – it was almost like watching a Hollywood masterpiece… till the last scene. The scene where Saif breaks down the wall between the two houses to meet his Parineeta – that was classic Bollywood and that was the scene I finally broke into a smile… the director just couldn’t help it – could he.. how could he ? He was from Bollywood? How could he not be melodramatic.. that’s a cardinal sin… but despite the last scene or maybe because of the last scene… it was a movie that should be counted among the best made movies in India.

Main hoon na
SRK, SRK and SRK…. The movie doesn’t require any more description as to why I love it… it has SRK…but the thing that struck me the most when I 1st saw the movie was that it took a female director to make the best action film made till then in Bollywood… It was slick, stylish and fluid.. almost as if Sunil Shetty and SRK were in a ballet of sorts.. graceful, powerful – beautiful… I can’t believe that I just described an action sequence as beautiful, but that’s what it was…And very rarely has a female character has packed in so much oomph so effortlessly.. I don’t care if feminists go on a rampage and say that women are made out to be sexual objects in Bollywood movies… I would be damned if someone with the body and attitude of Sush were not portrayed so…

Laqshya
A movie which didn’t do too well at the box office. A movie again too idealistic and one-man’s heroic effort – but the best part of the movie was the transformation of the main character from a boy to a man.. a change which is both physical and psychological… and despite the bad hair styles in the movie… the Barkha Dutt impersonating Priety Zinta was good…. A movie, which except for the histronics of AB, really measures upto its directors reputation of being a good film maker…. There’s one scene worth remembering in the movie where AB tells the jawans to give a soldier’s burial to the Pakistani men killed in fire and they refuse. He says that we are not like them… kind of puts into perspective the entire essence of what is today called “Indianness” – we are a world apart from the world and for us to try to emulate others blindly is retarted…that’s my opinion and I stand by it.

Swades
Inspiring….an action that most Indians living in the US of A would maybe want to take, they just simply lack the guts to take any action which is life altering…A restrained performance by SRK and the leading lady… no idea of her name or where she is now… but a good earthly feel to the movie.. lent especially by the old lady… SRK’s surrogate mother..a lot of issues put out for discussion in the open.. a lot of issues which force us Indians to think, evaluate our rationale for thinking the way we do…a kind of realistic movie… if you have the money and you have your heart in the right place, you can actually do it…make a difference…. The two scenes - where an Bisleri loyal SRK buys water from a kullad for 25 p from a child at a station and where the light from a bulb lightens the age wrinkled face of an old village woman – someone who has never seen electricity in life – where she breaks into a toothless grin of amazement “bijli”… tugs at your heart’s strings…you ain’t human if they don’t move you.

Kuch kuch hota hai, K3G & DDLJ
Flakey, feel good, life is beautiful movies which have opulent sets, beautiful locales, foot tapping music – these are movies which are loyal of the Bollywood genre by the book…. They are movies which actually make you forget your soddy, miserable life for 3 hours and gives you hope – false maybe – but hope none the less… and more importantly brings a smile to your face… these film makers deserve the money that they make – because they may be dealing in fanatasy and they may be conning honest folk like us into believeing that all is good about the world… but they do the impossible.. they do something that no one in the world has time for today… they bring a smile to the face of millions of strangers… they are like placebo… they make you strangely happy and even energize you for sometime…. Every once in a while, people deserve a boost like that….a shot in the arm to get you through the day!

Hyderabad blues
My very first “adult” movie…the propagator of the “jump and pump” theory.. a cynical look at NRI’s and their line of thnking and a lot of goofy fun… its about a bunch of guys with raging hormones… what else do you expect… but a 1st of its kind of movie that I saw in the Indian – a kind of American honesty.. enjoyed it… is not a Bollywood movie but was widely seen and was a cult movie while it lasted.

Arth
Should be a text book for all aspiring actors in the world… you can’t get two more talented actress in the same frame… Who outshone whom was a major question… a point of debate… music by Jagjit Singh was the first time I felt that even Ghazals are worth listening to and appreciating. A master piece.

Chupke chupke
Who does not like this movie… it must be one of the best comedies made in Indian cinema… Dharm paji really outshone himself in the movie and the dialogues had everyone in splits and the music had everyone trying to be a singer and who could forget that it is the most educational movie… teaching hindi, botany and English all at the same time. Ah – those lessons about corolla, the purity of the national language and the barstardness of English..and of course the poet in James a.k.a Keshto Mukerji – remember those eternal lines “Aaj bag me khilenga ek gulab, pilade, pilade, pilade saaki..ek gilaas julab!”…

Pakeezah
My favourite Hindi movie of all times. A legend of a movie – 14 years in making… I can’t even maintain my diet or exercise regiment or for that matter anything worthwhile for 14 days together and here is a movie which evoked so much passion in the makers that they carried it in their hearts for 14 long years…A path breaking film in terms of concept – “kothe se kabhi doli nahi uthi hai”…Meena Kumari’s best performance. The picturization of “Chalte Chalte” is a lesson in itself. It has the most romantic scene in all of the 7 decades of Bollywood…the scene where Meena kumari’s naked feet brushes against Raj Kumar’s knees…. No skin show, no lewd dialogues and it is still the most erotic scene picturised in Bollywood… that was the directors skill… “Aap ke paon dekhe, bahut haseen hai. Inhe zameen par mat utariyega maile ho jayenge” – the classic dialogue…everything about the movie was outstanding including its title “Pakeezah” – the pure one, for a prostitute…

Choti si baat
A rib tickling comedy about a mousy accountant, played by Amol Palekar, who later perfected the character, from Mumbai who takes love lessons from Ashok Kumar to own up his love for Vidya Sinha. An innocent love story which is really a lot of clean good fun and almost no melodrama… it is one of my favourite Amol Palekar. I do love all his movies with Utpal Dutt which I think are the pillar stones of comedies in Hindi cinema, but this movie is more close to my heart compared to all others.

Sahib bibi aur ghulam
The only Guru Dutt movie I have seen. All his other movies are on my wishlist. Between this movie and Pakeezah I don’t know which is a better performance of Meena Kumari.. but she being my favourite actress and someone who dominated the movie throughout, the credit for the movie needs to be given in a huge part to her. Her portrayal of the historic character “Choti Bahu” needs to be a studied as a lesson in world cinema. The perfection with which this role is played is amazing. If she were still alive or alive in the same genre as Shabana or Smita, I am sure we would have one more name to be added to the list.. I remember seeing the movie and being shocked at the revelations in the movie… makes me feel that we have become more prude as the times have progressed… the song “Piya ais jiya….” Is raw sensuality and it is not vulgar.. it is just the best artistic expression of sensuality… I guess this generation can learn a lot about expressionism from this movie.

Sujata
A issue movie which maybe was not Nutan’s best performance.. simply because she was such an immensely talented actress, that all her performances stand shoulder to shoulder with each other. But the issue that the movie brough out – that of untouchability and the message of equality was tremendously relevant for the time it was made in. The music was really great and Sunil Dutt was eye candy. Nutan’s effortless performance leaves you asking for more. It is so sophisticated …I really think if India and Indian movies were half as publicized then as they are now, we may have seen many Oscar winners due to movies like these. It may not have been as publicized a movie as Bandini.. but I like it better…


My movie wish list –

Movies that I really want to see
Pyaasa, Kagaz ke phool, Do bhiga zameen, Dus kahaniyan, Gandhi my father, Shootout at lokhandwala, The namesake, Khosla ka ghosla, Bheja fry, Being cyrus, Maqbool, Chandni bar….

I have your job

As a bystander, I have heard and read a lot about the out sourcing business. It is one of the key drivers of the Indian economies. It is one of the main employment sources for the urban and semi-urban youth. It is an instrumental factor in the development of "B" towns, as the smaller towns of India are called. In short, Outsourcing is good for India.

So it is natural that public outrage against India in the US as the main cause of umemplyment was discredited by me totally. Hey, you guys want to keep your costs low. So you come to India in search of cheap but quality labour, something sorely missing in your own country. If anyone is to be blamed for the loss of jobs in US, it is the head of all the corporations who decided to outsource tasks...not India, definitely not my India.

As an auditor, one of my last projects with my previous employers was to perform a SOx (Sarbanes Oxley, for the uninitiated) assignment for India's second largest BPO. As a part of the assignment, I travelled to the hamlet, it was not more than that, of Ipswich in England. The office there wore a forlorn look. The floor which could have seated nearly 30 people was manned by less than half that number. The operations person from India who was accompanying us to explain the nuances of the business to us revealed that a number of people in UK had lost their jobs when a major part of the activities, hitherto carried out in Ipswich, were shifted to India. But the impact of outsourcing didn't strike me then as I didn't know the people who had been fired as a result of the outsourcing and I did know the guys in India to whom the jobs had been outsourced. I had seen only one side of the coin and that side was quite rosy.

Ironically, my first assignment with my new employer was exactly of the same nature, albeit for the largest BPO in India. I travelled to Mexico, to a town called Juarez, across the US border town of El Paso. I tagged along with a guy who would help in the transition. A transition is a process of transferring the process and jobs from the client organization to the BPO. As a part of the kick off meeting, one of the questions that my colleague asked was that he hoped that the employees who we were to interview realised that their jobs would be outsourced and that they were OK with it.

It is then that it struck me. I was nvere so violently ashamed of myself as I was at that moment. True, I did not directly do anything to these people. But I felt like a co-conspirator in a very ugly plot to fire a few good souls.

Over the next 4 days I met the three employees whose jobs were to be transitioned to India to be done by a one or two people at half their cost. A chubby Taurean female with a lovely eight year old girl, a beautiful young brunnette who was in love with everything pink and a lively young man born and raised in Juarez. At the end of 4 days, I had shared Indian cultures and tranditions with them, I had shared holiday and family pictures with them, I had shared meals with them..I had bonded with them. And to think that something i was doing would some months down the line lead to them losing their jobs. The heart ache was reduced considerably as there had been alternate arrnagements for these three employees. But it could easily have been a situation where these people I met for a brief period and who treated me so well and were so kind and nice to me, were unemployed because of something that I did.

I really wonder how can we live with ourselves when we know that we may be the sole reason that a family is in economic doldrums.. someone out there is out on the streets because we snatched their jobs!

In perspective, I think that this is an economic issue, a issue of practicality, of business, of survival, if you will. Its a dog eat dog world out there and we - India, are ready to be hunting down and eating anything that comes in our way.. Somehow, that is not the Indian-ness that I hold in my heart...maybe I am in the wrong century.

Rules to make Bangalore a city!

1. Firstly to all people who have the misconception that Bangalore is a city let me dispel the myth upfront. It used to be sleepy little town. It is now a town pushed to its limits – in every manner possible – resources, area, infrastructure and population. It has the potential to be a great city – it has a natural resource that 3 of the 4 metros do not have - a pleasant climate through out the year – a climate which the firang would definitely prefer over the sultry climates of Mumbai, Chennai or Delhi. But other than the climate, Bangalore right now has almost nothing to its credit to make itself comparable to a Metro city – and having malls and bars at every corner doesn’t count!
   
   Roads – Defined as follows: “Roads are typically smoothed, paved, or otherwise prepared to allow easy travel”. Roads are a basic requirement for a city. And I’m not just talking about the swishy inner or outer ring roads. I mean the bylanes, the inroads, the junctions, the corners. Roads should be able to accommodate more than one vehicle at a time, which woefully is not the case in many roads here. Also roads are supposed to be smooth – they are not meant to be preparatory for an obstacle race – which most of them currently are.
   
2. Traffic signals – Defined as “a signaling device positioned at a road intersection, pedestrian crossing, or other location to indicate, using a series of colors (Red - Amber - Green) specific movement to drive, ride or walk - - each assigned the right-of-way at a given moment.” Practically unheard of here. Major junctions like the Domlur – Inner ring road junction, Trinity circle etc have poles with lights mounted on them. I presume them to be traffic signals, though I’ve never seen them working. A harried traffic police is normally running pillar to post – literally, trying to get the traffic under control, but human beings have their limitations.
   
3. Electricity – The pulse of a city – its power. Invariably, everyday I see the power going off in my office which is located at the heart of Bangalore in M.G Road. The business district of Mumbai must not have seen a power cut for God only knows how many decades – except in the event of a terrorist attack or a natural calamity.
   
4. Talk Hindi – If you claim to be a city with a large influx of migration population from around the country, at least speak the common language – the national language. I had this exasperating experience with a traffic policeman when I got majorly lost in the one-ways near Madiwala Masjid and asked for directions to a cop in Hindi. He replied in Kannada. I repeated in English. He repeated in Kannada. How can a public servant be of any service if he staunchly refuses to communicate with the pubic??
   
5. Get on with your construction – There are two big construction activities which have been going on for the last couple of years – the Bangalore Metro and the Elevated highway project. Massive traffic congestions are the only output of these endeavors. As both the projects seem to be at a permanent standstill, the completion date is far from near. As a resident of Mumbai I can look back and just see the flyovers and subways being completed in front of my eyes. All the work would take place at night and by day we could actually see results.
   
6. Improve your public transport system – Which is to say get more buses on the roads. Have an English / Hindi timetable or direction list of buses and their destinations at all the bus stops. As all the buses carry numbers and destinations in Kannada and normally there is not much sense to how they travel due to all the one-ways that the place has, a migrant such as me truly finds oneself like an alien to the public transport system. I could manage to use the public transport system in a place like The Netherlands where I didn’t know the language remotely and I can’t manage in a state in my own country!
   
7. Regulate your auto drivers – I really don’t understand the purpose of the meters installed in the auto rickshaws in Bangalore. Invariably any distance that one wants to travel, demands of Rs.10-20 over the meter charges are common. And the worst part is that people actually pay. Whereas in Mumbai where the minimum charge is Rs.9.00 and you always give a tenner to the autowalla, you expect your one rupee back. A city of character always values its money.
   
8. Get inflation under control – Mumbai still rules in this respect – far ahead of any other major city in India. It is the only place where people who earn Rs.10 a day can live as relatively in comfort as people who earn Rs.10 lakhs a day. You still get vada pav for Rs.5 and believe me that is enough to fill your stomach!
   
   
   I’m sure I will revisit this article to update it as there is always room for improvement – both for Bangalore and for me!

Of dogs and dog tags….

Everyone would agree with me that’s it’s a dogs life out there. You spend all your life trying to appease God alone knows whom and at the end of it all, you are left panting with your tongue out and tails between your legs with nothing to show for all your efforts.
As if to buttress my belief that it indeed is a dog’s life, there is an invention called a dog tag, also called as an identity tag. Like the leash that a pet owner lovingly puts across a dog’s neck, every man, woman and child who has been institutionalized i.e. has some affiliation to some organization – either for work or study – there is not much difference between the commonly understood meaning of the word and my interpretation of it - has one around his or her neck.

There used to be a time when an employer knew most of his employees. There is the famous story of how the ever great Mr. J.R.D Tata, saw her waiting for her husband, the now famous Narayan Murthy and stood waiting with her so that she would be safe. I can’t imagine that happening now in any organization – large or small. Similarly when I was in school, not only did the teachers know all of us by name but also our parents, their profession and which part of the country we came from. As we have progressed and evolved and expanded and grown in numbers, it has become necessary to hang an identity tag around the neck – as if to proclaim to the world, I EXIST!!!

A tag has various purposes and sentiments attached to it. If you work for a MNC, you proudly wear your tag. It kind of gives you leverage among lesser mortals who are employed in ordinary Indian companies. Even within Indian companies, there are the giants – the Reliance, the TCS et al and then there are the never heard of companies. When you enter a social destination – a shopping mall, a restaurant etc, you proclaim your presence by your dog tag, you command the respect that your employer commands, never mind that you spend all your working hours on naukri.com and monsterindia.com looking for a change in your job and bitching about every aspect of your work.

The tag is quite stylized now a days – there are clip-on’s, there are tags which hang to your belt and then there is the traditional around the neck tag. Identity also comes in nice packaging now a days…..

You put on a tag when you leave your home in the morning and it becomes such an integral part of your identity that you forget to remove it even when you are home. Only when you finally change – your clothes and most often your personality – you realize the presence of this yoke around your neck and you remove it.

Surprisingly even with all the identity tags in the world, you still don’t know your next door neighbour, you don’t know who sits in the cubicle next to you, you don’t know the name of the colleague who shares a bus seat with you on the company bus and to top it all, inspite of all your tags, you still remain as anonymous as ever – no one knows who you are!