A, B, C...Z and Some Extras...

There is a very famous piece of dialogue in Namak Halal (1982) starring AB, which is “I can talk English, I can walk English, I can laugh English because English is a very funny language”. I agree with AB on this one. English is indeed a very funny language. I’m not talking about the spoken language. That’s funny all right, but it’s a topic for another time. What interests me more after my travels around the worlds, is the use of English alphabets, or let’s say the Latin alphabets. India being a country which has such a wide variety languages and an equally tall order of scripts, we have never had to use the English language to express our linguistic thoughts. We would use English to type out our Hindi sms’s or to communicate our Regional movie names!! There is no other reason to use English alphabets other than when we are communicating in English. However, this is no so in other parts of the world.


In Netherlands, the official language is Dutch. They have all the alphabets of English (I think) and an extra one “ij” – pronounced “I” or a “Y’ makes you wonder the plight of the “j”. How redundant would it be feeling! So Rijwijk becomes Rywiek. By the way, the Dutch are crazy about their “ij’s”. They pronounce the “G” as “Kh”, so for example “Gratis” meaning free, becomes “Khratis”. And that’s not all, the “Kh” has come from the base of your throat – as if you are gathering all the phlegm you have been storing in your chest. They call “I’ as “E” – so Identity becomes Edentity. They also pronounce “V” as “F”, so you have Vincent Van Gogh which is pronounced Fincent Faan Khoh.


Then there is Poland and its obsession with “z”. In most cultures that I enter, I at least get the basics. This was one language which is beyond my comprehension. How can it be… every 2nd letter is “Z”. So I went to this place spelt Gorzyce and it was called Gorzhitca. I went to another place spelt Wroclaw and it was called Wratsvav. J is called “Y”. Apparently its just in English that J is called J as in Jack and Just and Jug. So Jaeck is called Yacek. There are a lot of other names which I don’t know how to write or read… so just leave it at that, that I will not be speaking Polish any time soon.


My latest fascination is with Spanish. And let me tell you, it is as funny a language as AB thought English was. One of those rare moments when AB measures upto me…..

Anyway “H” is normally silent, but is used abundantly. J is H, L is Y, Q is K and above all is “X”. I have never seen a language so much in love with the letter. They use it in the name of every city. But it is either silent or called H. So let me give you a few examples. Hugo is Ugo. Jorge is Horhe. Padillo is Padiyo and of course Mexico is Mehico, A son is called Hijo and is pronounced Eho and a daughter is called Hija and is pronounced Eha… Sounds like Indian war cries Eho… Eha…..And you can’t imagine the number of cities with X in them. Lets c Mexico city, Acamixtla, Acaxochitlan, Calixtlahuaca, Doxey, Panixtlahuaca…. The list goes on. I think Mexico is the country with the largest number of cities starting with X……

Waiting for more cities and more languages……..will update you….