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Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Rules to make Bangalore a city!

  1. Firstly to all people who have the misconception that Bangalore is a city let me dispel the myth upfront. It used to be sleepy little town. It is now a town pushed to its limits – in every manner possible – resources, area, infrastructure and population. It has the potential to be a great city – it has a natural resource that 3 of the 4 metros do not have - a pleasant climate through out the year – a climate which the firang would definitely prefer over the sultry climates of Mumbai, Chennai or Delhi. But other than the climate, Bangalore right now has almost nothing to its credit to make itself comparable to a Metro city – and having malls and bars at every corner doesn’t count!

    Roads – Defined as follows: “Roads are typically smoothed, paved, or otherwise prepared to allow easy travel”. Roads are a basic requirement for a city. And I’m not just talking about the swishy inner or outer ring roads. I mean the bylanes, the inroads, the junctions, the corners. Roads should be able to accommodate more than one vehicle at a time, which woefully is not the case in many roads here. Also roads are supposed to be smooth – they are not meant to be preparatory for an obstacle race – which most of them currently are.
  2. Traffic signals – Defined as “a signaling device positioned at a road intersection, pedestrian crossing, or other location to indicate, using a series of colors (Red - Amber - Green) specific movement to drive, ride or walk - - each assigned the right-of-way at a given moment.” Practically unheard of here. Major junctions like the Domlur – Inner ring road junction, Trinity circle etc have poles with lights mounted on them. I presume them to be traffic signals, though I’ve never seen them working. A harried traffic police is normally running pillar to post – literally, trying to get the traffic under control, but human beings have their limitations.
  3. Electricity – The pulse of a city – its power. Invariably, everyday I see the power going off in my office which is located at the heart of Bangalore in M.G Road. The business district of Mumbai must not have seen a power cut for God only knows how many decades – except in the event of a terrorist attack or a natural calamity.
  4. Talk Hindi – If you claim to be a city with a large influx of migration population from around the country, at least speak the common language – the national language. I had this exasperating experience with a traffic policeman when I got majorly lost in the one-ways near Madiwala Masjid and asked for directions to a cop in Hindi. He replied in Kannada. I repeated in English. He repeated in Kannada. How can a public servant be of any service if he staunchly refuses to communicate with the pubic??
  5. Get on with your construction – There are two big construction activities which have been going on for the last couple of years – the Bangalore Metro and the Elevated highway project. Massive traffic congestions are the only output of these endeavors. As both the projects seem to be at a permanent standstill, the completion date is far from near. As a resident of Mumbai I can look back and just see the flyovers and subways being completed in front of my eyes. All the work would take place at night and by day we could actually see results.
  6. Improve your public transport system – Which is to say get more buses on the roads. Have an English / Hindi timetable or direction list of buses and their destinations at all the bus stops. As all the buses carry numbers and destinations in Kannada and normally there is not much sense to how they travel due to all the one-ways that the place has, a migrant such as me truly finds oneself like an alien to the public transport system. I could manage to use the public transport system in a place like The Netherlands where I didn’t know the language remotely and I can’t manage in a state in my own country!
  7. Regulate your auto drivers – I really don’t understand the purpose of the meters installed in the auto rickshaws in Bangalore. Invariably any distance that one wants to travel, demands of Rs.10-20 over the meter charges are common. And the worst part is that people actually pay. Whereas in Mumbai where the minimum charge is Rs.9.00 and you always give a tenner to the autowalla, you expect your one rupee back. A city of character always values its money.
  8. Get inflation under control – Mumbai still rules in this respect – far ahead of any other major city in India. It is the only place where people who earn Rs.10 a day can live as relatively in comfort as people who earn Rs.10 lakhs a day. You still get vada pav for Rs.5 and believe me that is enough to fill your stomach!


    I’m sure I will revisit this article to update it as there is always room for improvement – both for Bangalore and for me!

Of dogs and dog tags….

Everyone would agree with me that’s it’s a dogs life out there. You spend all your life trying to appease God alone knows whom and at the end of it all, you are left panting with your tongue out and tails between your legs with nothing to show for all your efforts.
As if to buttress my belief that it indeed is a dog’s life, there is an invention called a dog tag, also called as an identity tag. Like the leash that a pet owner lovingly puts across a dog’s neck, every man, woman and child who has been institutionalized i.e. has some affiliation to some organization – either for work or study – there is not much difference between the commonly understood meaning of the word and my interpretation of it - has one around his or her neck.

There used to be a time when an employer knew most of his employees. There is the famous story of how the ever great Mr. J.R.D Tata, saw her waiting for her husband, the now famous Narayan Murthy and stood waiting with her so that she would be safe. I can’t imagine that happening now in any organization – large or small. Similarly when I was in school, not only did the teachers know all of us by name but also our parents, their profession and which part of the country we came from. As we have progressed and evolved and expanded and grown in numbers, it has become necessary to hang an identity tag around the neck – as if to proclaim to the world, I EXIST!!!

A tag has various purposes and sentiments attached to it. If you work for a MNC, you proudly wear your tag. It kind of gives you leverage among lesser mortals who are employed in ordinary Indian companies. Even within Indian companies, there are the giants – the Reliance, the TCS et al and then there are the never heard of companies. When you enter a social destination – a shopping mall, a restaurant etc, you proclaim your presence by your dog tag, you command the respect that your employer commands, never mind that you spend all your working hours on naukri.com and monsterindia.com looking for a change in your job and bitching about every aspect of your work.

The tag is quite stylized now a days – there are clip-on’s, there are tags which hang to your belt and then there is the traditional around the neck tag. Identity also comes in nice packaging now a days…..

You put on a tag when you leave your home in the morning and it becomes such an integral part of your identity that you forget to remove it even when you are home. Only when you finally change – your clothes and most often your personality – you realize the presence of this yoke around your neck and you remove it.

Surprisingly even with all the identity tags in the world, you still don’t know your next door neighbour, you don’t know who sits in the cubicle next to you, you don’t know the name of the colleague who shares a bus seat with you on the company bus and to top it all, inspite of all your tags, you still remain as anonymous as ever – no one knows who you are!

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Mumbai product - went around the world - got hitched and escaped from the Silicon city of India to the land of glamour and royalty - London. I write every time my heart stirs......