An interview with MYSELF

I have not been seen or heard from for quite some time now. So I decided to catch up with myself and probe a bit into what's new in my life.

Q: So, What's up? How and where have you been?
Me: All's well.. all is in a well (as a friend once used to say). I have been steadily grounded to Bangalore. It's been nearly 2 months since I've left this place. It is starting to grow on me now, I think.

Q: What do you mean it's starting to grow on you?
Me: You know, when you have been in a particular situation for a long time, you kinda get used to it. It becomes a part of your life, even the inconveniences. You remember Mohan Bharghav telling the villagers in Swadesh, that it's as if they have got so used to not having electricity that they have started to enjoy it. It's the same with me. Being totally helpless when it comes to going some place on my own, being dependant on my husband to chauffer me around, feeling obliged when a auto driver charges you by the meter, spending Rs.300/- to see Bollywood trash and another Rs.100/- for soggy popcorn, paying Rs.55/- for semi-decent pav-bhaji and pretending to relish it, buying drinking water, thanking the not so oft seen maid for coming once in a while and exercising my broom.....the list is kind of endless, but I'm getting used to all of it.

Q: Is there nothing good about Bangalore?
Me: I'm sure there is plenty good about Bangalore, but I have such a mental block against the place that I just don't seem to be able to see any.

Q: Still, give it a try.
Me: Ok, lemme see. I think it is a place which offers fairly good work life balance. The pace of life here is not as bad as in Mumbai. So, I manage to reach home by 7 every evening and we as a couple have dinner by 8. Thats a rarity in Mumbai. Maybe, due to the proximity and abundance of all the malls around, i have been watching a lot of movies, again something that I didn't do too mcuh in Mumbai. In Mumbai, weeekends were to laze around at home. In Bangalore, where electricity takes a hike for 8 hours every weekend (I'm sure the mall owners association in Bangalore have a tie up with the Electricity Board for ensuring zero power supply at weekends, so that business at malls boom), there is no point in staying home. Also, I have been reading a lot lately. Don't know if Bangalore has anything to do with it, but lets give it the benefit of doubt, shall we?

Q: So things are not all in the well, right?
Me: Ha ha... the way this place gets flooded after a mild shower, I would say things are always in the well, drain, lake, river... or whatever.

Q: Hows work?
Me: Ok, so far so good. Lots of time on the bench, why do you think I'm giving this intereview! Even work wise (that is when I do have some work), its ok. The people in my office here are pretty chilled out and things are going kind of ok. Have some good colleagues, intelligent conversations, lots of shopping during office hours.. so I'm not complaining.

Q: Any changes in you as a person after marriage or after shifting to Bangalore or as a result of your new job?
Me: I think marriage makes you more responsible. If you have had a life like mine with no worries, no responsibilities, no ailing mother to look after, no younger siblings to educate, no nothing, you would suddenly wake up one day to find that the life of this guy whom you barely knew is now intricately linked to yours. I guess no one spells out your responsibilities, you just learn them. Its kind of nice sometimes to care for and to be care for by someone who did not have a direct stake in your existance on planet Earth.

Q: How's health?
Me: Awful. Just awful. Own cooked food, everyday lunching outside and total lack of any form of effective exercise - it's all showing on me.

Q: So what are your plans for rehab?
Me: You make it sound like I'm some kind of addict! Yeah, maybe you are right. I'm an addict of lazziness. Need to do something about it. Maybe when Unni is gone, Not that way silly, wipe of that shocked look off your face!, When Unni is gone to Finland and I've more time on my hands, then will plan out some schedule.

Q: And what about you Oracle thing? Its been almost a year since you blew a bomb on a 3 week course?
Me: Man, you do know how to hit where it hurts the most!! I w'd 've loved to reserve my comments on that one, but just because its you, I'm baring my heart out. I've lost focus totally. It''s been a hellof a year - lots happpening - new man, new job, new place...I'm not justifying anything..Need to regain my focus.. Once Unni goes...

Q: You seem to be hellbent on getting Unni out of the picture! You sure you are not using him as a crutch too mask your inabilities and failures.
Me: You have an agenda against me or something? Why are you being so unpleasant??

Q: Gimme a break. I'm only trying to get to the truth. You don't want to accept it, we can move on..
Me: No..No wait. I'm not a coward. Yes, to an extent you are right. I'm blaming circumstances for all that happening wrong in life now, which is quite contrary to my belief of "One is solely responsible for the mess one is". Its a self-effacing attempt to mask my inability to cope well with situations. Will have to pull myself together.

Q: You have quite an ego.
Me: Me and Ego.. ha ha ha.... Ok...I do. I try not to let it get better of me most of the time.. but I guess I haven't acheived Nirvana yet.

Q: So now that you have told me all this, how do you feel?
Me: I've been talking to myself for the last 2 hours, how do you think I feel?? I am reinforcing the public sentiment that I must have lost it.

Q: You believe that?
Me: You tell me....