Nache Mayuri

I visited my Mom's college the other day. Among other things the purpose of the visit was to catch a glimpse of "Nache Mayuri". That happens to be the commonly accepted nick name for the principal of the college. Very rarely do we see a consensus between teachers and students over a topic, but they were united in agreeing that this woman was the worst thing that could have happened to their college in a very long time.

One of the old education houses of Mumbai, this was a college which in some distant past represented the best quality education that was available in Mumbai. It was a privelege to be a part of the institution. The standards were very high and the norms were exceptionally strict. Founded by an almost illiterate Gujarati, who unlike others found value in education rather than money. There were stories about him walking on the campus on surprise visits and blasting both students and teachers equally for being negligent on their duties and responsibilities. This was almost 4 decades ago. Times change and so does the management. What the father built up from scratch was handed over in a silver platter to the son (educated apparently). Like most Gujaratis, he decided to make money. He turned his fathers vision, his Vidya Mandir, into one of the most lucrative units in the family business, perhaps more profitable than even the sugar business that they were traditionally into. Then started the demise of this institution. It became a college which was the last choice for average students and the first choice for below average students. The quality of the students and the consequent academic results fell to a new abyss.

As a perfect representative of this downfall was the advent of the regime of the new principal a couple of years back. She is one of the most distinctive characters that I have heard about in my life and hence the desire to acually see her. Let me describe her for you:

A MA in music which is a surprise when you consider that her voice is as hoarse as if perpetually suffering from sore throat.

A principals behaviour should be one that can be emulated by students and teachers alike. A far cry from that our principals character and behaviuor was such as would have shamed a reform school juvenile resident.

Her dress sense put to rest all kinds of efforts by the teaching staff to imbibe a sense of decency in the teenage female population of the college. She came in the tighest and the most revealing of costumes available. OK, you cannot lynch a person for having a pathetic sense of dressing.

That would still have been acceptable if she maintained an acceptable line of speech.

Her classic statements:

" You girls, going on dates and all... lets see where you land in 9 months" - this was told to girls after the festival of Navaratri and a night of garba dancing.

" I went to shit as soon as I heard of the excellent results of our college. Most people get emotional when they hear good news, I feel like shitting" - This was in a staff meeting (all staff included) after the class 12th results were declared.

"You girls think you are pretty, Im prettier than all of you". - This is generally once in a day comment.

Her daily roster of duties:

Sweeping the floor of the college - We do have Class IV employyes for that.

Fighting with all teachers over the most petty matters available - That too at the top of that really sweet voice of hers.

Intruding class room lectures and inconveniencing teachers and embarassing students - She now a days says "excuse me" before intruding. At least things are better now.

Her favourite passtimes:

Arguing with the college sweeper - Raajkumari. Many accept that the only person in the college who is well suited for the principal is the sweeper. Their attitudes and temperaments seem to be almost the same and the jobs that they do are quite interchangable.

Chasing guys who whistle at her. (for obvious reasons)

Sometimes pinning guys to the wall and kicking them with her knees on their groins - quite a filmy way of disciplining young chaps, don't you think?

Its quite surprising how a woman of her caliber continues to be the principal of an eductional institution. Maybe it's just testament to the fact that no one really cares about the quality of education institutes or worse still no one really expects educational institutes to be the temples of knowledge where excellent personalities and consequently good citizens for the country are moulded.