Nache Mayuri

I visited my Mom's college the other day. Among other things the purpose of the visit was to catch a glimpse of "Nache Mayuri". That happens to be the commonly accepted nick name for the principal of the college. Very rarely do we see a consensus between teachers and students over a topic, but they were united in agreeing that this woman was the worst thing that could have happened to their college in a very long time.

One of the old education houses of Mumbai, this was a college which in some distant past represented the best quality education that was available in Mumbai. It was a privelege to be a part of the institution. The standards were very high and the norms were exceptionally strict. Founded by an almost illiterate Gujarati, who unlike others found value in education rather than money. There were stories about him walking on the campus on surprise visits and blasting both students and teachers equally for being negligent on their duties and responsibilities. This was almost 4 decades ago. Times change and so does the management. What the father built up from scratch was handed over in a silver platter to the son (educated apparently). Like most Gujaratis, he decided to make money. He turned his fathers vision, his Vidya Mandir, into one of the most lucrative units in the family business, perhaps more profitable than even the sugar business that they were traditionally into. Then started the demise of this institution. It became a college which was the last choice for average students and the first choice for below average students. The quality of the students and the consequent academic results fell to a new abyss.

As a perfect representative of this downfall was the advent of the regime of the new principal a couple of years back. She is one of the most distinctive characters that I have heard about in my life and hence the desire to acually see her. Let me describe her for you:

A MA in music which is a surprise when you consider that her voice is as hoarse as if perpetually suffering from sore throat.

A principals behaviour should be one that can be emulated by students and teachers alike. A far cry from that our principals character and behaviuor was such as would have shamed a reform school juvenile resident.

Her dress sense put to rest all kinds of efforts by the teaching staff to imbibe a sense of decency in the teenage female population of the college. She came in the tighest and the most revealing of costumes available. OK, you cannot lynch a person for having a pathetic sense of dressing.

That would still have been acceptable if she maintained an acceptable line of speech.

Her classic statements:

" You girls, going on dates and all... lets see where you land in 9 months" - this was told to girls after the festival of Navaratri and a night of garba dancing.

" I went to shit as soon as I heard of the excellent results of our college. Most people get emotional when they hear good news, I feel like shitting" - This was in a staff meeting (all staff included) after the class 12th results were declared.

"You girls think you are pretty, Im prettier than all of you". - This is generally once in a day comment.

Her daily roster of duties:

Sweeping the floor of the college - We do have Class IV employyes for that.

Fighting with all teachers over the most petty matters available - That too at the top of that really sweet voice of hers.

Intruding class room lectures and inconveniencing teachers and embarassing students - She now a days says "excuse me" before intruding. At least things are better now.

Her favourite passtimes:

Arguing with the college sweeper - Raajkumari. Many accept that the only person in the college who is well suited for the principal is the sweeper. Their attitudes and temperaments seem to be almost the same and the jobs that they do are quite interchangable.

Chasing guys who whistle at her. (for obvious reasons)

Sometimes pinning guys to the wall and kicking them with her knees on their groins - quite a filmy way of disciplining young chaps, don't you think?

Its quite surprising how a woman of her caliber continues to be the principal of an eductional institution. Maybe it's just testament to the fact that no one really cares about the quality of education institutes or worse still no one really expects educational institutes to be the temples of knowledge where excellent personalities and consequently good citizens for the country are moulded.

10 facts about travelling in Indian Railways - 3rd AC

1. One can be quite proud of the quality of bed linen and the standards of cleanliness maintained. (No pun or sarcasm intended). Even for a people like Indians with a healthy disregard for cleanliness, the compartments and even the toilets are surprisingly clean.
2. Food from the pantry - hot, tempting, actually delicious most of the times and quite affordable. Obliviates the need to carry food for the long journeys.
3. Sleep before everybody else does. The cacophony created by the variety of snores, some of them accentuated by the gurgling of flem, is not the best bed time lullaby.
4. Have a scented handkerchief at your disposal at all times. Remember - when someone breakes wind in a closed compartment, the wind has no where to go!!
5. Noisy kids are a nuisance - both in general and AC compartments.
6. Beware of newly weds on their way to or back from their honey moon. There may be action replays of certain scenes which tend to make families traveling with kids uncomfortable - very very uncomfortable.
7. Always opt for the top berth, if you are upto climbing up. It has a life of its own. Once ther you need to come down to terra firma (though shaky due to the motion of the train) only when nature calls. Also top berths provide the best and uninterrupted view of the scenes as mentioned in point 6 above. That is free entertainment.
8. Though the standard of people travelling by AC would be expected to be quite high, expectations can be belied many a times.
9. You can actually enjoy the scenic beauty of the Indian countryside without sans the heat, noice or beggars.
10. All said and done, a train travel is always a stimulating experience - just keep your mind open to possibilities.

Define love

I recently read a very interesting love story. It had all the makings of a hit masala Bollywood movie. The girl was mistreated by her folks at home. The guy, who was a next door neighbour saw this ill treatement and sympathised with the girl. This sympathy slowly nurtured into liking which blossomed into love. When the girls family got wind of this budding love story, they put the girl under house arrest. The guy then plans a daring rescue operation. The love birds elope and get married. When they get back, the angry family members blame the guy of marrying the girl only because he wanted to usurp her land and property. The guy goes to court complaining of the kidnap of his wife. Also in an act of instant sacrifice, the guy arranges for the girl to legally hand over her property to her family members. All this done, the family releases the girl and our hero and heroine prepare for a happy married life...... This could have been such a tear jerker and could have been named something like "Pinjare mein kaid maina" or something like that.

But there is a twist in the tale:
Guy: 41 years
Girl: 68 years
Family: the girls 4 grown up kids

A first reading of this true life incident would have you amused. It certainly amused me.

But we have not endured the pain of being in love, the agony of seperation and above all the fear of being ostracised from the society for lending a man-woman face to an apparently mother - son type relation.

Should we term the marriage a sham just because of the age difference between the main characters? The story would not even have been worthy of mention if the genders were reversed. Should we consider this guy a pervert for desiring a woman his mothers age or should we consider him to be of an extremely large heart for wanting to rescue a woman from the plight she was suffering - the typical knight in shining white armour?

Should we consider whether their relation would be merely paltonic? Don't we expect it to be platonic? If a relation was to be platonic, was there a necessity to lend it a stamp of matrimony? Do acts like these mock the sanctity of the institution of marriage? Is all the heart normally desires, morally acceptable? Who defines what is socially acceptable, morally correct? Are any of the questions pertaining to what the heart wants of feels answerable in black and white?

I don't know....

I am just overjoyed at the prospect of love, even if in wierd and unimaginable ways, still thriving in this hatred - filled world.

Rumbling love

Rains continue to amaze me. The mighty rains are the lifeblood of our existence. Yet, how easily they manage to balance out the imbalance that man creates. One heavy bout and an entire village is lost. No wonder so many civilizations and species are now extinct. I believe that these beautiful, innocent looking droplets from the skies had a very important part to play in the way the world as we know it today came into being.

I hail from Kerala – a part of the country that is known to most people s being the land of paddy fields, back waters, coconut trees and yes – continuous torrential rains. One of the invariable results of the weather there is the delay in school reopening dates. Schools this year were slated to open on 1st June. Rains that were forecast for 30th may landed in full force a week earlier. Parts of the landscape started submerging and normal life went berserk. Amidst such floods, state governments postponed the reopening from 1st to 5th June. No sooner is the announcement made than the rains disappear. It’s steaming hot in Kerala again and there are not grey let alone black rain clouds even on the horizon. Kerala breathes a collective sigh of relief. Kids are pumped up for the new academic year – new books, new bags, shining shoos, flashy umbrellas – they have all the gear ready. Come June 5th and parents and kids step out of their houses – all excited and nervous and they are greeted by guess who??? The heaviest downpour of the week!!! 8.30 sharp and rains have kept their appointment with the kids. 9.30 – all the kids are in their classrooms, all wet and soaked – and the rains say goodbye for now. Its 4.30 – school bells resound in the corridors. Kids rush out as if freed from a prison after a life sentence and who is ready to take them home. Not mom, not dad, but dear old rains – that too with renewed vigour. It was as if the rains were never gone. People wade through the rising water levels and finally swim home. Once all are safely at home the rains sign off for the day. Just like that.

This behavior of the rains can be interpreted in many ways. As a scientific weather phenomenon, rains are season’s occurrences to sustain life on earth. As a pessimist you may view the rains as a nuisance that just lands on head (literally), very much like uninvited relatives, make life chaotic for you when they are around and then withdraw when they please with a promise to visit next time.

You want my take on the issue – a rain is like the love of a parent. They are eager to accompany us on the 1st day of a new venture; they are impatient and anxious till the loved ones are back. Their love can be embarrassing, can lead us into soups, can be smothering – but all said and done their love is just too much for us to do without, just like the rains.